The Raven Hotel | Jikook |

Chapter 52: Open your Eyes

      Jungkook didn't long to think like this at all. He wanted to ignore these thoughts and live without his curiosity begging him to look over Jimin's journal, but with the thought of being seen as Hyunwon completely, Jungkook was desperate. He was desperate to prove that he wasn't in many ways that would eventually lead him to this. He became desperate and curious to see their differences and the only way to find out without Jimin becoming so defenseless over this was to check the journal behind Jimin's back.

      There were more ways to this that didn't limit Jungkook at all, but he knew Jimin too well when it came to Hyunwon. He knew that Jimin would only end up saying they were spitting images of each other to the point where the differences could only be Jungkook's style compared to Hyunwon's. Jungkook couldn't live through being called Hyunwon once again especially since he already told Jimin not to call him by that name. But did it ever stop the thoughts of him comparing the two? No.

       Jungkook felt as if his head was filled with the name Hyunwon. He understood Jimin completely; of course, how could he not? Jimin meant the world to him and he did have to admit it, Jimin was not perfect in every aspect and he learned something new everyday about the man. But when it came to Hyunwon, Jimin just couldn't move on. He was incapable of letting go of something so traumatic, it kept building up in his mind repeatedly every second he would look Jungkook in his eyes; believing it was Hyunwon all over again.

        "He's not going to see me differently... I can't be compared to Hyunwon any longer, there's no way we're the same! I can't hear him call me by that name anymore... I can't take it. If I ask him again, he'll apologize and do it again the next day..." Jungkook thought and continued to look at the book sitting on the shelf until Jimin pulled his head back to look at the boy underneath him.

       "I love you..." Jimin whispered and caressed the boy's face carefully as they looked into each other's eyes. "Why do I harm you so much? Why can't I learn from my past and avoid putting you through my own pain?" Jimin whispered and pressed his face against the side of Jungkook's neck and buried his face against it just like always. "I just... I just can't go through another moment of allowing you to leave me... please don't leave me... even if you'll come back, I can't see you leave me like that again."

     "Jimin, you can't keep thinking like this! What if I need to see my mom or Namjoon again? Will you be willing to let me go or keep me here..? Keeping me here isn't the best way to get over something like this," Jungkook replied and carefully caressed Jimin's silk hair. "You have to get used to this in order to let this go... let your past go..."

      "I know..." Jimin whispered and nuzzled his nose against Jungkook's neck right after, letting a shiver race down Jungkook's spine. "I'm... I'm trying... but it's too hard, I can't I-"

      "We'll get through this together, right?" Jungkook whispered and intertwined his hand with the Jimin's. "I'm not like those others... who left you... can't you see that?"

      Jimin noticed many things about Jungkook that were truly different. If he kept his eyes closed and listened to his words instead of looking him in the eyes and hearing his voice in which; all sounded and looked just like Hyunwon, he would see it all. The differences he hid just to see Hyunwon more through Jungkook. But even with this, Jimin kept his eyes open and listened to his voice anyways. Knowing well that if he didn't blind himself from Jungkook's looks or covered his ears from his voice, he would learn to let go. But he didn't and was incapable of doing so.

     "I can see it..." Jimin replied and kissed along Jungkook's neck so softly. "Please stay with me through this... and soon, maybe soon, I'll grow from that."

     "I'm so glad you think that way, now that I know you have it in mind, things will get better... so much better.." Jungkook assured and loosened his intertwined hand around Jimin's grasp before he wrapped his arms around Jimin's body happily. Not realizing Jimin's bland face he kept into the hug as he looked to the side of the room where the boarded window remained. At that moment, Jimin was lost in his thoughts about Hyunwon the more he looked at Jungkook.