Wolf and Moon

Chapter 18: Hawkfeather

  "You can't be around her anymore, Hawkfeather. It's for the best," Valleybreeze firmly stated. Hawkfeather looked out into the nursery to try and spot Hollyfrost, but the snow was coming down too thick to see the other side of camp.

"After what she did, she obviously doesn't deserve you. Someone else needs you who will treat you better than her. No more hanging out with her, son, " Specklefur stepped forward. Well, I guess I still have Nightstream, if she's not already with Snaketongue. But... I still love Hollyfrost. And, what about Deerkit and Quietkit? I guess I could still raise them with Hollyfrost, but I know I can't be with her anymore. Maybe Nightstream could join Forestclan... I'll have to find her tonight at the Gathering. But she wouldn't. She's loyal to Waterclan... If she truly loved me, though, she would be more loyal to me rather than her clan. He broke away from his thoughts and glared at his parents.

"What about Deerkit and Quietkit? They deserve their father. You can't keep me away from them or Hollyfrost forever. I know what she did and I can't forgive her it, but she's still the mother to my kits," Hawkfeather stared at his parents once more and walked towards his nest and laid down. He watched as his parents disappointedly walk over to a tree that had shelter from the snow under it, but then he noticed how skinny they appeared. He looked around at his clanmates and saw the same thing. Why hadn't I noticed this before? My clan is starving right before my eyes and I didn't even notice.

He tried to fall asleep but couldn't. Hawkfeather got up and walked outside. The air was thick with fog from the snow-fall air as the night sky glimmered with stars. He walked out the camp and into the forest. He looked up at the hill where Rockstone was buried. He thought of his friend often, wishing there was more he could have done to stop Wolftail from killing him. He let his paws guide him towards the river with Waterclan. I wish I could see Nightstream. Just then he heard rustling in the trees behind him, startling him. He ducked down in the long grass just as two cats strolled towards the water, walking side by side. He recognized Diamondshine, but not the other cat.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" the other cat asked.

There was a long pause before Diamondshine continued. "I just wanted to get out of the camp and I didn't want to go alone."

"Why didn't you just wake up Crosswind rather than me?" the other cat, obviously a tom, questioned.

"Well... I don't know... Crosswind has been occupied by the kits lately and ever since the fight between Hollyfrost and Hawkfeather and Mooncross being Jadekit's father, I guess I needed to get away from it."

"But why me? Why get me out of bed in the middle of the night just so we can walk to the river between Waterclan and Forestclan."

"Because... I guess... I just wanted to be with you, Moutainfern," Diamondshine spoke softly, clearly embarrassed.

"That's the thing, Diamondshine. I like being with you. Even if I have to spend all day in the Healer's den because I 'accidently' hurt myself. As long as I'm with you, I don't really care," Mountainfern purred.

Hawkfeather slowly crawled away, back into the forest. He heard enough. He ran through the forest back to camp. The moon high in the sky, with the fog still thick, and snow still on the ground. The camp was empty when he returned, panting from the running. Once he caught his breath, he went over to the nursery. He peeked inside to find Crosswind sleeping with Foxkit and Heatherkit at her side near the front of the nursery. Deerkit and Quietkit were sleeping at the back of the nursery. Hollyfrost was nowhere to be found. Not that he could see her anyway, since her fur was black. He backed out the den and closed his eyes. He thought of Hollyfrost and his eyes followed a path he traveled often. His gaze showed him the lake, where Hollyfrost sat alone. He left the camp and went to the lake.

Hawkfeather sat next to Hollyfrost and looked across the lake. "I'm guessing you don't want to talk to me."

"Yet, you're here anyways," Hollyfrost shot back sarcastically.

"Listen, I can't forget what you did, and I may never forgive you," Hawkfeather started. "But Deerkit and Quietkit are still my kits. They need their father."

Hollyfrost didn't say anything for a while. They just sat together in the moonlight by the lake. They don't twine their tails like they used to. Finally, she spoke. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I regret everything I've done to you and our kits." Hollyfrost looked away from him to hide the tears in her eyes. "I miss you, Hawkfeather," she whispered.

Hawkfeather was taken aback by her words. For a moment he didn't reply. He sighed a long sigh. "My parents told me that I had to stay away from you. I don't want to listen. I find that even after everything that happened, I still love you. I miss you too, Hollyfrost."

Shocked, Hollyfrost stared at him for a moment before turning away again. "What do you mean exactly?"

"I mean, I want to be mates again. I hate this tension between us. I know that it will take a long time to get over everything that has happened, but I am willing to try if you are." Hawkfeather rubbed his cheek against hers affectionately. He still felt anger at the thought, but his love for Hollyfrost and their kits overcame his anger.

"I am willing to try. Mooncross may be Jadekit's father, but you are the one who is going to raise her." At the thought of her kit, Hollyfrost fell into the grass as if her legs gave out on her. "What is Shadowstar going to do to her? She must be so scared and frightened."

"We are going to get her back. And I will be by your side every pawstep of the way."

Just then, the brush behind then rustled to reveal Thunderstorm and Crosswind. "So are we. And I know Mooncross is too. He is going to want to be in his kit's life, ya know," Crosswind spoke.

Hawkfeather looked at Hollyfrost and twined his tail with hers. "We'll deal with that when it comes." He turned to meet Thunderstorm's eyes, who gave an approving nod, and Crosswind, who smiled like she used to. "Now, let's go find my kit."