Reflections

Chapter Ten~ Love

Love. An intense feeling of deep affection or a deep romantic attachment to someone. A person or thing that one loves.

An emotion stirred in my chest. Worry, care, sympathy, and love. Before this year with Sophia I never even looked at a girl and that of life with a female. It was just out of mind, but now I look at Sophia and I think of possibilities.

Though when I search the halls of my high school, I don’t feel a connection to any of them. Most of them seemed good, average, but no of them have gone through what Sophia goes through.

In a way that makes Sophia a totally different person, stronger in other ways, enduring all that pain. It made her all the more lovely, seeing her day after day, fighting to stay sane...

Every time I saw her my heart speed up and blood rushed past my ears. Blocking out everything but her, and over the years the emotions changed and grew into their full 19 years of maturity.

Sophia was on her third year anniversary of the accident, she regained memory and train of thought, emotions as well, which I was glad to see. We spoke some, hours on end sometimes, about many different topics. Every no and then she would ask me questions about her past. 

“I always forget,” Sophia had said once, “I-I just don’t remember my favorite color...” Things like her favorites or who she didn’t like at her old school. I never really knew the answers.

She had started going to the school in town, the privet school close to the hospital. The school was notified about her condition and asked them to make sure not to get her upset.

Sophia had to repeat her freshman year, slowly what she already learned caught up to her so she only spent half a semester there.

I often help her on the questions she troubles with, witch brought memories back, not the good one either.

“Someone used to help me with my homework, years ago.” She looks around the bedroom, the past swimming in her eyes. “We never finished the homework before he tried to kiss me...” 

Sophia shivered and went back to doing her homework, she didn’t speak much after that. I’m sure that the ‘someone’ was her ex-boyfriend, I knew enough to know he was bad news.

Kathleen talked to Sophia a lot about jr. high and high school, always stopping when Sophia got upset about something. Most of the question she asked Kathleen answered, she knew the most about Sophia. I offered to tell her what happened in the diary, but she just said she didn’t want to pry.

It didn’t take long for Sophia to finish sophomore year as well. She was only two years behind now, but school came easiest to her because it was always set in the stone of certainty. 

Kathleen became closer then ever to Sophia during those years, every now and then speaking of the past.

“Did I know I was so little actually love by my friends?” Kathleen said she had told her about it sometime, when Sophia was stressed in the past. Sophia didn’t make many friends at the new school, it wasn’t that the kids didn’t like her enough. It was that Sophia pushed them away.