Always.... [O.J]

"I killed my mother..." 😭

[TW! Mentions of suicide]
[Nessa's pov]
"Hey!" Charlie said as he and Owen stepped into Jeremy's house. Went to the living room trying to figure out how all 10 of them were gonna fit on 1 couch and 2 armchairs.

Jeremy sat on the armchair with Caro on his lap. Sacha and Tori sat on the other armchair but Tori sat on the armrest instead of Sacha's lap, Maddie and Jadah sat on one side of the couch scooting over as much as they can, then Sav sat next to them, Charlie sat in between Sav and I, And Owen sat next to me. Jeremy got up and handed each pair a bowl of popcorn, "What movie are we watching?" Charlie asked. "Twilight" Jeremy replied. "I love that movie!" My eyes light up. "I know, why do you think I picked it?" Jeremy said winking at me, I blew him a kiss as he pressed play on the movie.

Half way through the movie, I look next to me noticing Owen was starting to fall asleep. Looking at him being tired made me tired, without thinking I leaned over and put my head on Charlie's shoulder while yawning.

Charlie acted as if it was a normal thing and continued watching the movie, After a while I felt Charlie moving so I pretended to be asleep, he pushed my head up slowly before putting it down on Owen's shoulder, and getting up to go to the bathroom. I felt Owen's arm wrap around me, but I was too tired to do anything so we just fell asleep cuddling in each other's arms. I'm not gonna lie, Owen is great at cuddling. I slept like a baby.

The next day I heard the sound of chuckling and giggling. My legs locked with someone else's and then I realized that Owen and I fell asleep like this. I opened my eyes slowly noticing Jer was still asleep which made me sigh in relief. He must've fallen asleep before Owen and I because if he didn't, then I wouldn't be able to feel Owen's breathing against my hair.

I looked over to the side where Maddie and Charlie giggled, I got up slowly making Owen groan and mutter, "I love you mom, but I don't wanna get up yet" I looked at him in confusion then looked at Charlie. "Yeah, he does that sometimes." Charlie whispered. "What are you guys laughing at?" I asked them confused. Maddie turned her phone to me and showed me the picture of Owen and I sleeping.

I rolled my eyes and said "what's funny?" "You loooove him" Maddie joked. I scoffed then said, "Owen? You've got to be kidding me!" Maddie and Charlie just looked at me like I was lying. To be honest, I didn't know if I was lying or not, so I panicked and said, "We would never be a thing even if his life depended on it" "Nessa..." both Maddie and Charlie said but I didn't hear them.

"His personality is unbearable.." I continued still not knowing why. "Nessa-" Maddie said before I cut her off again, "And not to mention his lack to get over his mother's death, it's been 2 years we get it-" "Vanessa!" Charlie whispered loudly pointing behind me. I looked behind me slowly noticing a tear run down Owen's face, he just nodded at me and stood up. I noticed Jeremy open his eyes and sit up. Owen wiped away his tears away then looked at Jeremy and said, "Thanks for having me." There so much hurt in his voice it made my heart sink, "Owen, wait!" I said as I ran after him, He just continued walking fast to his car.

I stood in front of him and put my hand on his chest making him stop walking, "Owen i'm sorry i didn't-" I started before he cut me off. "No Vanessa, i'm sorry. I'm sorry for mourning over the only person who I could be myself in front of, the person who was there for me even when my own father didn't want to speak to me, the person who-who brought me into this world, the person who saved me when she couldn't even save herself, if she hadn't turned the car around that day she would've still been here. I killed my mother, and I feel guilty about it every single freaking day! You think it's easy for me to listen to people who talk about their mother, you think I want to be here right now?! I should've left when I had a chance. I shouldn't exist anymore. So i'm sorry about my unbearable personality, if you didn't want me around you could've just said so. I knew you were only using me to get to Charlie. I would've expected this from anyone else but you." He said that while sobbing, i've never seen him cry like this, my heart was breaking every second while I was hearing that but I quickly said, "I am not using you, Owen you're my best friend I don't know why I said that in there." "You could've just ended at 'you've got to be kidding me' Bye Vanessa." He said as he pushed past me and jolted to his car, tears started falling down my cheeks.

I hated that he was mad at me. And I hated that he kept calling me by my full first name. Jeremy came out of the house confused and tired, he saw me crying and quickly ran to me. He asked me what happened and I just shook my head and muttered, "I don't wanna talk about it." Jeremy hugged me and then we went back inside.

Charlie and Maddie were on their way out and I stopped them "Where are you guys going?" I asked sniffling. "We need to go check on Owen" Charlie stated. "I'm sure he just needs some alone time." I said. "The last time he had alone time he....Jeremy you tell her....come on Charlie" Maddie said grabbing Charlie's arm as they headed out.

"Well?" I asked Jeremy, Jer sighed then said. "The last time he broke down and went by himself, we all thought he just needed some alone time, when in reality he was planning his suicide. He had used his curtain rope to hang himself, but luckily Charlie happened to walk in on him. Charlie took Owen off of the rope and rushed him the the hospital, Owen was in a coma for 2 weeks, before waking up and wanting to do it all over again" I looked at my brother in shock as my mouth hung open, I didn't know what to say or do so I just stood there as the shivers traveled up and down my body. It wasn't until Jeremy clapped his hands in front of my face making me snap out of it.

This chapter was a little deep, but i'm thinking of slowing things down a bit, I feel like if I put too much drama in each chapter the book is gonna end wayyyy sooner than I want it to.

Thanks for reading💕

-R