The Listening

no. 29: nineteen

I was nineteen when my world started turning again
It had been stopped, frozen in space, in time
My world had been cold and dark,
I hadn't seen the sun in years.
I was nineteen when it shone again.
It glimmered on the water,
Perfectly imperfect as the waves refracted it
And bent it
And made it anew
Just like they refracted
And bent
And made me anew.
I was nineteen when I was born again,
And with the new eyes given to me by new life
I saw the sky as it was, not how I used to think it should be.
It was turning with my world, ever changing
Dark to light to dark
Light to dark to light again
And I realized
- an earth quaking, bone shattering realization -
That the dark would always come again
But so would the light
The nights aren't ending
But neither are the days
The days continue the way I should continue
24 hours was all it took for the world to start over
To begin anew
And I would begin anew too
I was nineteen years old when I realized
That I didn't have to die
Because the world would continue with or without me
And I wanted to see it keep turning
I wanted to see the sky changing above me
I wanted to feel the sun on my skin
I wanted to watch the world start over
I was nineteen when I decided to stay.