The Listening

no. 5: what love is

I used to wonder what it's like to be in love.
I craved it so much that I convinced myself I found it
once, twice, three times --
I mean, maybe I did find it.
Love, that is,
but what I realize now is that I wasn't in love, I was just desperate
to feel the strength of that adoration that follows you
and craves you,
and keeps you warm,
and safe from harm,
but I realize now is that I wasn't in love.
I never found that in those three times that I "fell in love."

Three times are a charm? No sir, it's four.
My fourth love is true.
She is warm,
and light,
and she keeps me safe from harm.

Love is looking at someone and realizing
"That's who I want to be with during the hard times,
when my world is in crumbles,
when I'm at the end of my rope,
when I'm shattered and see no light,
that is who I want by my side."

But that's not all that love is.
Love is a commitment,
love takes work.
You don't like who you love 100% of the time,
that infatuation goes away.
What you have left is someone to laugh with,
and cry with,
and be mad at,
and, sometimes, to hate.

Love is knowing that even through the anger,
even through the hate,
you are still (you are always)
on the same team.

Love is knowing that all fights end,
it's the security of not being left during the hard times.
There is sunshine and there are roses, yes,
but love is the act of being there.
You belong in your love's corner and they belong in yours,
and you will be on each other's team for as long as you can 
possibly hope to be.
That is what love is,
and I wouldn't trade it for anything.