Fanfiction [MASHIKYU]

4 - 10

Mashiho

"So, basically, the concert did get more attention than our previous stuff, but not as much as we hoped?" Yedam asks when the staff finish telling us the statistics in our meeting the day after the concert.

He's answered that yes, that is what happened. Our hopes for this concert to blow Treasure up weren't met, and we're going to have to think of more ways to get the hype we wanted.

"The plan right now," one of our managers tells us, "is to continue filming more content like Treasure Map and behind the scenes videos, because the views on those have been going up, and to make a music video for Loud to drop with the album in a few weeks. It will probably get more attention when we take it to music shows."

"Also, the unit songs were a good idea," another staff member adds, smiling at Doyoung. Right, I forgot it was his idea to begin with. "There are videos circulating around Twitter with a crazy amount of views. Junkyu and Mashiho's performance in particular has generated a lot of buzz."

Of course it did. What Junkyu made was a masterpiece. And if the audience felt any of the heat that I felt when I was onstage with him yesterday, then...

But I don't even feel excited when I'm told our performance was the one that got the most attention, because my heart drops whenever someone mentions Junkyu's name, because I remember the fact that he's at home recovering. I made him hurt so much I made him get drunk, and now he's probably feeling sick and exhausted and horrible, and it's because of me.

The meeting finishes with a dejected mood, and as soon as we walk out I feel my phone buzz with a message. My heart drops again when I see who it's from and I read the words through the severely cracked screen.

Junkyu: hey so uh about last night... i'm really really sorry. i was way out of line and i'm not going to use being drunk as an excuse. i know how hard and personal and confusing figuring out this kinda stuff can be (i've definitely had MULTIPLE sexuality crises in my lifetime) and i don't want you to think i don't understand or that i'm pressuring you in any way. take all the time and space you need, and don't feel like you owe me anything, ok? and if you need anything else i'm always here :) i'm so so so sorry, please forgive me.

But Junkyu hates texting.

I didn't feel like he was pressuring me or not understanding me or being insensitive or anything like that, so it makes me sad that he thinks that's how he came across. He just came across as... hurting. And that made me hurt too.

Me: you have nothing to be sorry about, but thanks anyway i guess
Me: i'm sorry too

The reply comes immediately.

Junkyu: don't be

I run a hand through my hair and tuck my destroyed phone back in my pocket, not knowing how to reply. I wish I could sort myself out. I wish I could get this blur of labels in my head to make sense. This would be easier if I'd liked literally anyone in the past or given this any significant consideration, or at least recognised what I'd been feeling for Junkyu as it was gradually happening, which I've now realised it was. He doesn't deserve someone as confused as me, he deserves someone who knows who he is and what he wants, because Junkyu deserves only the best. He deserves everything good and nothing bad.

I jump when suddenly I feel a hand on my back, then Jihoon steps up next to me.

"Hey, Shiho, can I talk to you for a sec?"

I nod, and he whisks me away into one of the small vocal practice rooms, then sits me down on the seat behind the keyboard there and stands in front of me like he's about to give a presentation.