A Passionate Hawk

Chapter Thirteen: "The pills"

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT⚠️
After a lot of convincing Eli finally went home so he wouldn't be upset with me over the fact that I'm going. I got my stuff for karate and I went to my car. I drove to Coyote Creek and Kreese was already there, but not johnny. "Hey Sensei. Sorry i'm late. I have stuff going on right now." I said nervously. I looked behind him and saw hawk, Tory, 'assface', Aisha, and Miguel. Hawk looked mad when he saw me.
"It's alright, but next time be on time." He said.
"Alright. You guys are my best students, that's why you're here. You guys will split in two teams. A black team, and a red team. This headband is your life. If you lose it, you die. In this game you are not friends, your enemies." Sensei Kreese added.
"Alright get in your teams."Hawk came to me. "Why did you come? You were supposed to stay home. I promised to protect you!" Hawk said angrily. "I'm sorry I just really wanted to go!" I said. Aisha came over to me. "Hey guys what's wrong?" She asked. "Oh nothing. We were just talking." I said. Sensei Kreese handed us one red headband for each person. We put them on and spread out. Hawk pulled my arm and took me with him. We stayed alert and hawk took me to a huge tree. "Come." He said. He grabbed my hand and we climbed the tree. "Are you insane?! You could get us killed!" I said. "Relax. Just trust me." He said. We made it to a huge branch. "Now we're just gonna wait here for our first target." He said smirking. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Once we see our target I'm gonna jump off the tree and attack them. Im gonna put them on a choke hold and your gonna jump down after me and take their headband. Got it?" He said. "You are literally insane! If I die it's on you!" I yelled. "Shhhh." He said pressing his pointing finger on my lips. I stayed quiet and we patiently waited for our 'target'. We saw assface stop by the tree. "You ready?" Hawk asked. "Yes." I replied. It's funny because a hawk made a screeching noise right before he jumped down. It made him look cooler. He jumped down and put him on a choke hold. "NOW!" He exclaimed. I jumped down and took his headband. "What the hell?!" Assface said walking away. We heard Tory and Miguel. We snook up behind them. I attacked Tory and Eli attacked Miguel. Eli threw Miguel at a tree and I kicked Tory in the face. Me and Hawk ended up getting their headbands and we walked to Kreese. "We won!!" Hawk said. Aisha was already dead so she looked a little upset. "Well done Rivera and hawk." Said Sensei. "You guys worked together, and you showed no fear." He added.
"That's the end of this lesson. Have a good afternoon guys." He exclaimed. We walked to the car and I got in my car. "Can I get a ride?" Eli said getting into my car. "You didnt drive here?" I asked confused. "Nah Miguel and Tory took me." He responded. "Alright where do you want me to take you then?" I asked. I was kinda mad at him because he didn't want me to come. "To your house." He said. I sighed. "Okay then."
I drove to my house and parked my car. I went inside my house and went up to my room not talking to hawk. I threw my stuff on the floor and went on my bed and got on my phone. Hawk walked in. "Why are you so mad? I'm just trying to protect you!" He said getting irritated. "You might be trying to protect me but that does not give you a right to control me!" I yelled. "Oh yeah?! Maybe if I was controlling you wouldn't have been raped in the first place!" He yelled instantly regretting it. "Fuck you." I said coming up to him I slapped him and got my keys to my car. "Babe look I'm sorry-"
"No don't talk to me" I interrupted.
"You know I didn't mean that I'm sorry!" He said trying to stop me from leaving. I ran down the stairs and slammed the door on my way out. I got in my car and drove away. I went to the karate dojo to take all my anger out on the punching bags and saw johnny. He noticed how mad I was. "Hey y/n whats wrong? You alright?" He asked concerned. "I'm fine." I said angrily. I walked over to the punching bags and started punching it as hard as I could. I kept punching and kicking and I started sobbing while punching it. I stopped and fell on my knees and started crying. Johnny ran over to me and sat in front of me. "You alright?!" He asked concerned. "I'm okay I'm sorry I just-"
"No your not okay? Did someone hurt you, or did you get in a fight with hawk? What happened?" He asked.
"I told you I'm fine..." I said. "You know what? It's getting late I better go home before my mom gets angry with me." I said changing the subject. "Alright. Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asked. "Yes I'll be fine"
⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT⚠️
I responded. I ran to my car and started crying. I aggressively turned on my car and pulled out. I drove to my house crying. I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't know what was the point of living if I'm gonna be traumatized over getting raped. I wanted to kill myself. I made it to my house crying and I thought hawk left. I went to my dad's room and took his pills. I went to the bathroom and locked myself in there. I started crying and realized what I was doing. It hit me. This was the end. I won't be able to see my dad, my boyfriend, my friends, my Sensei. It's over... I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt ready. I grabbed the pills and open them. I looked at myself one last time and took the whole bottle of pills. I started feeling a lot of stomach pain and I was groaning in pain. I fell to the ground holding my stomach in pain. I heard a bang at the bathroom door.
"Y/n?! Are you okay?!" Hawk said. "No! Leave me alone!" I yelled. "Let me in!" He yelled panicking. "NO! GO AWAY!" I yelled. At this point I already lost consciousness. "Y/n!! Stay with me! Please!" Hawk yelled banging on the door. He tried kicking the door down many times but after many attempts he finally did it. He shook me to wake me up. "Y/n! Y/n! Please stay with me! Don't go! Wake up please!" Eli yelled. He ran back to my room and got his phone and came back. He quickly sat next to me and called 911 sobbing. "911 what's you emer-"
"HELP ME PLEASE MY GIRLFRIEND TRIED TO KILL HERSELF!" Hawk yelled at the phone sobbing. "Okay sir, stay calm. Is she breathing?" The operator asked.
"NO! PLEASE COME QUICK!" Hawk exclaimed. "Baby please stay with me! Please I need you!" Hawk said shaking me.
"Alright sir we have an ambulance on their way right now." The operator said. "PLEASE HURRY!" Hawk said. He hung up and the ambulance came. The police also came. They tried holding hawk back as he tried to go in the ambulance with me. He ran inside and got my car keys and drove to the hospital. They took me into the E.R. and got me into emergency surgery. Hawk arrived and ran inside. He ran up to the front counter. "Where's my girlfriend?!" He asked. "I'm sorry sir- what's your girlfriend's name?" The lady at the front desk asked. "Y/n rivera!" Hawk responded.
"She's currently in emergency surgery. You're going to have to wait an hour or two." The lady said. "Shit!" Hawk yelled. He went to go sit down.
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Hawk's Pov:
I sat down and immediately started over thinking. This is all my fault! If I hadn't told her that she wouldn't have done this! I took out my phone and texted her dad.
Eli: Hello Mr. Rivera. Y/n tried to kill herself, she took a bottle of pills. Shes currently in emergency surgery. I'm in the hospital waiting for her.
Y/n's dad: Oh my god! Is she gonna be okay?!! Im on my way!
I put down my phone and waited for her dad. I started crying thinking about losing my everything, my life, a piece of me, my world.
I saw her dad walk in, along with Miguel, Tory, and Aisha. They all came to me and hugged me. "I'm so sorry." Miguel whispered hugging me. Tory was crying she didn't say anything she just hugged me. "Oh my god." Aisha whispered. We stopped hugging and I looked at y/n's dad. He looked at me and hugged me and we both cried. "What happened?! Tell me the story!" Her dad cried. I sat down and explained what happened. "We got into an argument about what happened to her and I told her to stay home for her safety because I wasn't gonna be home. I found out she went out and got mad and told her- something I shouldn't have. She ran out and drove away. I waited for her in her room worried sick hoping she'll come soon when she came home I heard her crying. She slammed the bathroom door and by the time I kicked the door down she was-... unconscious" I said sobbing.
"Oh my god! My babygirl!" Her dad broke down in tears. Tory and Miguel were sobbing and Aisha was just shocked like she was at a loss for words. Like she couldn't feel anything.
We waited for two hours hoping my baby will be okay. I saw the doctor come and I immediately stood up. "Is she okay?!" I exclaimed. "Yes but... she's going to have to stay in the hospital for a couple days until she fully recovers because she's having lung problems and stomach problems that could cause her to lose her life." The doctor said.
"I want to see her!" I said trying to find her room. "Sir you're going to have to wait." The lady said pushing me back. "No fuck you! Let me see her!" I yelled. Y/n's dad held me back and sat me down on a chair. "It's okay son. We're just gonna have to wait." He said. I started crying. "I just wanna see my girl." I said sobbing. Tory, Aisha, and Miguel were shocked to see me act this way. I just wanted to see her. I wanted to see if she was okay. After another 30 minutes the doctor came out again. I stood up immediately once again. "She's awake, but be gentle with her because she just came out of surgery." The doctor said. I ran to her room and saw her with a life support machines and tubes to help her breathe. She couldn't talk. I started crying when I saw her and ran over to hug her. "Why would you do this? I thought I lost you." I said sobbing. She rubbed my back trying to comfort me. "Im sorry." She barely whispered. I saw a tear fall down her face. I wiped it away. "It's okay." It hurt me a lot seeing her with all these machines. Tory, Aisha and Miguel walked in.
Miguel ran over to her and hugged her. "I thought I lost my bestfriend." He said crying.
Y/n started crying. Tory and Aisha ran over. "I thought I lost my bestfriend too." Tory said also crying. Aisha hugged y/n still shocked and at a loss for words. Then her dad came in and immediately started sobbing. "My babygirl!" He said running over to hug her. Y/n was just quietly sobbing. She started breathing fastly. "Doctor!" Her dad yelled. The doctors rush in and check her out. "Her lungs are failing!" One of the doctors yelled. Y/n started panicking. "Sweetie please calm down!" The doctor yelled. I started sobbing. "Y/n calm down your going to be okay!" I said worriedly. She started crying. "It's okay your going to be fine." I said. "Okay I'm gonna need you guys to wait in the waiting room!" The doctor yelled. We went back to the waiting room and we all started crying. "Oh shit. Guys I need to go. Text me if anything happens." Aisha said running out the hospital. We stopped crying and waited for y/n to be done. The doctor walked out. "Alright she's going to be okay. Somehow we missed the lungs when we performed the first surgery."
We ran to her room. This time she could talk.
We all hugged her. "I'm sorry guys. I shouldn't have done this to any of you! I swear. I just wanted my life to be over at that moment!" She said.
"Its okay. Just don't do it again. I thought I lost my other half!" I said. Miguel and Tory kept hugging her. "We thought we lost our best friend!" Miguel said.
"And I thought I lost my babygirl!" Her dad said running over to her crying.
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Y/n's Pov:
My Dad came over to me crying. "I'm so sorry dad." I whispered crying. The doctor walked in.
"Alright sorry to interrupt. She will be okay but she will have to stay here for 2-3 days then she'll have to get psychiatric help." She said.
"Wh- but I'm not crazy." I said.
"We know but we just want to get you some help to make sure this doesn't happen again." She replied.
"but for how long ?" I asked nervously.
"Until we know you'll be okay." She replied.
"It's okay baby it's just for now." Hawk said. I looked at him and back at the doctor nervously. "Is it a facility?" I asked. "Yes it is." The said doctor said. "No! No I'm not going!" I yelled.
"Sweetie you have to go. It's for your own good." My dad said. "No fuck you! Fuck all of you! I'm not going to that shitty place!" I shouted angrily. "Baby calm down. It's okay. I'm gonna try to visit you everyday." Hawk said. "NO IM NOT GOING!" I yelled. Everyone flinched. "You have to go. We already signed you up." The doctor said. I started crying and Eli tried hugging me. "No leave me alone! Why'd you have to stay?! You should've left me there to die! It's not like I wanna be here anyway!" I yelled pushing him off me. I could see in his eyes that my words shattered his heart into pieces. "How could you say that?" He said about to cry before running off. The doctor looked shocked. Tory and Miguel looked shocked. Miguel and my dad chased after hawk. Tory stayed to talk to me. The doctor left. "It's only going to be for a while." She said. I ignored her. "I didn't mean to say that to him. I just don't want to go." I said. "I know you didn't but you should've seen him when he told us what happened. He was shattered. It's like half of him was dead. Maybe you should apologize?" She said. I thought about it and I told her to bring him here. You could tell he was sobbing so much. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just didn't want to go to that shitty place. You know I love you." I said holding my arms out so he'll come hug me. He laid next to me in my hospital bed and we fell asleep together.
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Not gonna lie I cried writing this chapter. Besides I was also listening to sad music while writing this so it was more of a reason to cry😭