Just don't fall for me | Calum Hood

Chapter 5-I'm sorry Calum but we can't see each other anymore

I woke up feeling rather depressed. I had to talk to Calum about not seeing him anymore. Everything was just a blur until Jas came up to me in school, apperntly my face reflected how I felt cause she asked:

"What's wrong sweetie?" She looked really worried.

"I think I might be falling for Calum, and I have to tell him I can't see him anymore." I could feel some tears who wanted to come and visit but I didn't want them to, so I didn't open up.

"Would it really be that bad if you got together?" She asked her voice full of pity, she knew why it was hard for me, she knew the story of how I broke.

"I don't know, I'm so confused," the tears came back this time trying to kick the door in "I also feel so bad because it was me who told him not to fall for me." I was fighting the tears bravely and luckly I won. The bell rang and I sighed we said goodbye and she left after she gave me a sympathetic look and a hug. The rest of the school day was again a blur and I didn't pay much attention. When I got home I made sandwhich for the picnic I cut some melon and took some starwberries. Then I went up to my room trying to make my English paper, but ended up trying to figure out what I should say to Calum. I didn't bother to chance my clothes I just combed my hair. I looked in the mirror and sighed. The doorbell rang and I went downstairs, my sister was over at some friends since it was friday, and my parents were in the living room.

"Hi Alexx, you look good." I gave him a smile, I didn't want to tell him right away, I wanted to wait.

"Hi Calum, thanks so do you." I took the picnic basket and we headed off. He took my hand during the way over there. We got out of the cab and found a place to sit in the park, there was only like two others here. We ate and talked it was nice being with him, I had fun though in the back of my head I knew this was the last time we would be together. When we were done we packed everything up and decided to go for a walk. We were holding hands, the poison wasn't so strong today, though it was there. He stopped under a big tree, he looked on the moon it was full. I sat the basket down and looked at him, just taking it all in, his eyes, his lips, his arms, his everything. He then looked at me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked smiling.

"I'm sorry you're just really handsome." The tears was a threat again. He giggled.

"Shouldn't I be the one to say that to you?" I gave a little laugh.

"Probably." He turned so he stood right in front of me, my back was against the tree. He looked at me, his big brown eyes shining. He looked at my lips so I knew what was coming. And here it came, he kissed me, not as passionet as the day before but still enough to make me dizzy. His one hand were on the tree next to my face and his other on my waist, his body pushed mine into the tree. My hands were on his chest. I was enjoying it so much and I got the feeling of falling even futher. I pulled away first by turning my head. The tears was close to come busting in.

"What's wrong?" He asked looking concerned.

"I'm sorry Calum but we can't see each other anymore." My voice was tiny, his face changed to sadness.

"Why? Have I done something?"

"No I just," I didn't really know what to say "I think I might be falling for you and I shouldn't, I know." I got away from the tree and now stood with my back to him, trying desperately not to cry. He walked over to me, he turned me around his face was close to mine. I had my arms crossed, something I did so I could feel like I was protecting myself from getting hurt, his hands rested on my elbows.

"Why shouldn't you?" He sounded so worried.

"Because I told you not to fall for me and now I am falling for you." A tear escaped, Calum dried it away.

"It dosn't matter, I'm falling for you too," I finally looked at him "I know I have not even known you for a week but I have so much fun with you, and I just want to be with you all the time." He sounded sad, I couldn't take it I turned my head and looked in the ground.

"But we can't be together." I said thinking of how much it hurt the last time I had a boyfriend.

"Why? I'm not asking you to marry me or move in with me, I just like you." He now sounded frustrated as well.

"I know Calum, is not that. I just can't handle the pain that goes with it." The tears was kicking and screaming and I did everything to keep them away.

"Who's the douchebag that hurt you so much, that you don't want to fall for someone?" I was suprised that he got so much of it, I didn't think he would understand. I decided to tell him, I guess I kinda owed him that much.

"His name was Derek, we were together for six months when we decided to have sex, I was a virgin," It was so clear in my head everything that happend back then and it was horrible "It was perfect, he was perfect I really thought he was the one. Two days after we had sex, he broke up with me, saying he only wanted me for sex and I found out he'd been cheating the whole time," I remembered the feeling I had when it happend, I felt used, I felt so hurt, I felt weak. I hadn't been together with anyone since then. Calum didn't say anything, I guess there wasn't much to say "Oh and he told people I was begging him to have sex with me even though we had broken up and that I didn't care that he had cheated and I had send him nudes." Now I couldn't stop the tears they were streaming down my face. I didn't talk much about it, so it was always hard. Calum whiped the tears away.

"I'm so sorry I don't get how someone would do that," he did really sound sorry "Does he still go to your school?"

"No he moved some time after, the teachers and pricipal told everybody to leave me alone, luckly my friends had my back at least some of them," The tears was finally under some sort of control "Some left, people left me alone I guess they all kind of knew it was a lie but some still comment it." I didn't want to think about it anymore.

"Listen I'm not going to do that ever! I won't hurt you." I had a hard time believing that, though it wasn't his fault that I was screwed up.

"What if there is a rumour? About you and some other girl, I wouldn't know if I could trust you or not. My trust to guys are really low."

"Then I guess I have to make sure you can trust me," He really wanted me to believe him "You can't just give up, sometimes is worth taking a chance." He took his hand and brushed some hair away from my face.

"I'm just scared, I was so down last time, that's why I didn't want to go out with you" I wanted to say I regret going out with him but the truth was I didn't regret anything.

"Is there anything at all I can say to make you trust me?"

"I don't know, I guess it really is a question if I'm willing to take a chance or not."

"So are you? I can't promise you we will be together forever, since I can't predic the future but I can promise you that if we get together I will do everything to make you feel you can trust me and I will never hurt you." His words were tempting I wanted to believe him. If I had to take a chance it might as well be with him, I liked him and he liked me. And then again he had to leave soon could we really make it work?

"Calum you have to leave soon, do you really think we can make it work with you being around the world and me being here?" He smiled a little.

"The short answer is yes, I'm willing to take that chance if you are." So here we were again, just like a couple of days ago. He wanted an answer I wasn't sure on the answer, just like a couple of days ago I decided to give it a chance and say:

"Okay I'm willing to give it a chance." His face lighted up in a smile and so did mine. He pulled me into a huge hug and said:

"Are you sure?" I took a deep breath and simply answered:

"Yes, I'm sure." He kissed me gently. I really hoped this was the right thing to do. Cause if he broke me I was pretty sure I would give up boys and become a nun. The rest of the evening we just laid on the grass looking on the stars. When it was time to go home we drove back. He of course got out of the car with me and he gave me another passionate kiss, this time I really didn't regret it I just enjoyed it. We said goodnight and I went to get ready to bed. I got a text right before I fell asleep.

'I'm really happy you have decided to take that chance on me, I swear you won't regret it :D'

It was from Calum I smiled and texted him back before I fell asleep.