Against All Odds

14. Making Progress

Meredith and Derek sat at the table in the tiny dining area of his former residence. The awkward silence had been in effect for at least ten minutes.

"So..."

"I don't..."

They both started to speak and then looked at one another, both laughed stiltedly.

"This shouldn't be this hard." She whispered.

"Okay, let me start. What did you do today?" He asked, leaning forward and resting his chin on one hand.

He just had to ask.

"Well, I came to work after a sleepless night only to find you holed up in an intense conversation with Addison. Then I misunderstood said conversation and ran out of work. I then went home to sulk and someone knocked on the door. And who should it be? The Sisterhood of Meddling Mothers, who then sat there while I told them my sob story. And then who should just barge in on my pity party? Satan's Whore. Who then proceeds to tell me that she is, in fact, Satan's Whore and that she was throwing herself at you when I walked in and that you do in fact, hate her and love me." She took a deep breath. "Then the mothers offered to take our son while we worked out our problems. How was your day?"

His eyes were saucer wide by the time she had finished.

"It sucked", was all he said.

Meredith nodded.

"Until you came to find me." He finished, his eyes twinkling.

Meredith smiled at him, then ducked her head shyly.

"So how..." She trailed off.

"How do we do this? I think we just have to play it by ear." He shrugged.

"In other words, you are as lost as I am." She interpreted.

He laughed.

"You could say that." He confirmed.

She looked down at her hands, wringing them in each other and then looked him dead in the eye.

"I love you. So much. Every time I see you, my heart starts beating out of my chest and I wonder how I got so lucky to have you in my life. You are a wonderful, kind, loving man and you are a great father to Michael. You are what I aspire to be in my professional life and what I live for in my personal life." She said.

He reached across the table and grabbed her hand and squeezed.

"You know how I feel, but I am going to tell you again, anyway. You are the air I breathe, the touch I crave...you are my soul. You are the reason I am the way I am. Before you, it was like I was drowning and you saved me. I don't think I can survive without you. I won't survive without you so we have to make this work. We have to fix this. Please." He pleaded.

Meredith looked in his eyes and saw that he was near tears. He turned away. She squeezed his hand.

"Hey. Look at me." She insisted. He did. "I am not breaking up with you. Yes, I was upset and jealous and stupid and crazy but never did I mean that I didn't want you anymore. I will always want you. We just have to concentrate on us for once. I think that we have lost track of that in the past year, but we will get it back. I promise." She vowed.

He let out a sigh of relief so big, his shoulders slumped.

"How? How do we do this?" He asked.

"We talk, about everything. We answer all questions honestly, no matter how hard the answers might be for the other. Honesty, communication and love." She said emphatically.