Against All Odds

16. Home Sweet Home

"Home sweet home." Derek mused as he put the car in park.

Meredith glanced at their house.

"Yeah, is it weird that I am going to miss being on the land?"

"You are going to miss the trailer?" He asked incredulously. While she had never looked down on the fact that he had lived in it at one time, it wasn't her favorite place in the world.

"I said the land. I will not miss the trailer with its two foot bathroom and ten inch closet. Oh and let's not forget the shower."

"Hey, no knocking the shower." He admonished. "I have many fond memories of that shower. None of which we recreated this time out."

Meredith stifled a laugh. Derek was beyond blue balls. His penis was well on its way to getting gangrene at this point.

"I can't wait to see Michael." He said wistfully.

"Why don't you take him to the park while I entertain the mothers?" She suggested, turning to look at him.

"I don't want to go without you." He said.

"Derek, it is to the park, not across the country. Besides, you haven't really seen him in a week. You need some male bonding time with him." She pointed out.

He looked at the house which for the next who knows how long, would be saturated with estrogen. Male bonding did sound good.

"Yeah, you might have a point." He agreed.

"Well what are we waiting for?" She asked.

He leaned forward and kissed her sweetly. He parted with a sigh.

"Let's go." He got out of the car and hurried around, just in time to get her door. She got out with a little laugh and a shake of her head.

"What?" He asked amused.

"Nothing. Well, I was just remembering the first time I went to dinner with you. Remember?"

"Oh, the one with my mom. Yeah." He smiled.

"Yeah, you were being such a douche and then you go and do something sweet like opening my door for me." She said. They walked up the steps slowly. "Oh, hey. Do you remember what you mom asked me during dinner?"

Derek strained to remember and then it dawned on him and he bust out a laugh.

"She asked you how many guys you had had sex with." He said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, the look on both of your faces when I threw out a number." She said ruefully.

"Well if memory serves you correctly, it was an astronomically high number." He reminded her.

"That was none of her business." She shot back.

"True. I still don't know that answer." He said.

"And you never will." She paused. "I don't ask about your past lovers. Besides, it doesn't so much matter who the first was or the twentieth. It matters who the last is. And you are my last." She said, stepping on her tip toes to press her mouth firmly upon his.

"Twentieth?" He asked, pulling back.

She looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"Never mind." He said quickly.

"Come on. I am having withdrawals." She said tugging on his hand. They opened the door and walked in.

Michael ran out of the living room at top speed and crashed into Meredith's legs. Derek chuckled as he shut the door. Meredith picked him up in her arms and hugged him tightly. He saw Derek and his bright blue eyes went wide. He held out his chubby little arms towards his father. Meredith gladly handed him over.

Derek kissed the top of his head and then breathed him in. He paused when he realized Michael smelled like sweat and dirt.

"What have you been doing today?" He asked him.

"We have been working in the backyard." Carolyn said, pausing with Ellis in the doorway of the living room.

"What were you doing in the backyard?" Meredith asked.

"Planting a garden." Carolyn informed her.

"A garden? I'm a doctor, not Farmer Dell. I don't do gardens."

"Oh phish. All you have to do is water it every day. It is not rocket science."

Meredith looked at Derek for help. As did his mother.

"I'm going to go put Michael down for a nap. Don't you want to take a nap, Buddy?" He asked Michael.

"No." Michael shook his head.

"Traitor." Derek muttered. "Too bad. You are taking one after I give you a bath. I am just going to go upstairs." He beat a quick retreat.

Meredith was going to kill him.

She looked back at the mothers. They smirked at her and practically pulled her into the living room and onto the couch.

"So?" Ellis asked.

"So, what?" She asked.

"Don't you play stupid with me, young lady. Now spill."

"Meredith you don't have to tell us a thing." Carolyn said loudly.

"Thank you." Meredith said gratefully.

Carolyn looked towards the stairs and then whipped her head around.

"Oh, I only said that until I made sure Derek was out of the way. Spill."

"What do you want to know?" Meredith asked. "We talked and talked some more. We slept, we walked, we came home. The end."

"We want to know about the make up sex." Carolyn said matter of fact.

"Excuse me?" Meredith choked.

"Don't look at me like that. I know what sex is. I have had five kids. A stork didn't just leave them on the doorstep. Do you think I would have been pregnant that much if I didn't like having it?" She responded.

"Oh, ew." Meredith groaned.

"I remember sex. I loved sex. Not with your father, mind you. He was a boring lay. But Richard. That man was a sex god. He did this thing once in the shower with the bending..."

"Oh god, please for the love of all that is holy, don't finish that sentence." Meredith begged, jumping up.

"You didn't come from a cabbage patch Meredith." Ellis said, in the same tone Carolyn had used.

"You know, I am just going to go and...um...water the garden." She said.

"Is that what you kids call it these days?" Carolyn said.

"You two are sick individuals." Meredith hissed as she flew up the stairs, their laughter following her. She darted into the bathroom and slammed the door, leaning against it. Derek turned away from Michael and looked at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Your mother...my...mother...sex...and...oh god." She stammered.

"Huh?"

"The mothers were down there giving me sex advice. Me! I don't to hear that shit!" She exclaimed.

Derek pondered this.

"Did you learn anything good?" He asked.

Her eyes widened.

"You are disgusting. It is like the invasion of the sex pod people here. Ugh. I am going...somewhere...anywhere but here."

She stormed out of the bathroom towards the safe haven of her room.

"You know you love me." He yelled after her.

That she did.