Chapter 22

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GENS POV

I couldn't do this alone. But I was. I was grieving alone all over again. Liam threw himself back into work and chubs wasn't even in the cabin anymore. He was always out.

I was on the top bunk. Curled up in a ball crying. Crying my eyes out and I was alone. Liam and I slept in the bed last night and he left this morning knowing I was and had been crying.

He left you when you were in pain. He knew you were in pain.

I was in pain and sad so I went to Clancy. "Hey!" I said knocking on his door. He looked up and smiled. His smile broke my heart. He was so happy and I felt like a burden.

"Hey what wrong?" He asked getting upset from his seat. He walked over to me and wiped the tears off my cheek that I didn't know were there. He hugged me and I just cried.

"I don't know. I'm wrong. I'm the problem." I said and he shook his head pulling away and looking me in the eyes.

"You are not a problem!" He said to me. I just nodded but I didn't believe him. I was a problem. A monster.

He motioned to the bed and I sat down on it. "So I was thinking.....maybe we can walk through what happened with your parents, and see if we can reverse it?" He asked and I perked up.

"Yes! I would love that! I mean....sorry I didn't mean to be so happy, I just really want to fix it." I said and he nodded.

"I get it. I mean I don't, but I do. You just want to make things right." He said to me with a smile.

I gave him my hands and closed my eyes. That always helped, closing my eyes. But I quickly pulled away.

"I need a favor for a favor." I said to him. He nodded as if to say go on.

"If I let you see what happened, can you let Charles use your computer?" I asked.

He took a while before he answered. "Deal. But I have to know everything he is going to do and what he does on it." He says and I nod.

I give him my hands and close my eyes again. And suddenly I'm in my ten year old bedroom. Everything pops up slowly and I remember it more and more clearly.

I see photos and the colors. I'm on my bed, mostly because in real life I'm sting on a bed. I watch as ever hung slowly pops up one at a time all my memories of this room show.

"Good." I hear Clancy's distant voice. It was so distant but I knew he was close. Mostly cause I feel his warm breath along my cheek.

"Keep....keep thinking" he said sounding out of breath. I saw his face through the glossy haze I was in. My body felt so warm and cozy. It was nothing I've ever felt before.

His lips were so close to mine. "You....you are." His voice sounded hoarse. And at the slightest touch his lips were on mine. It felt so good. Because I didn't have to worry.

And as soon as it was gentle, it wasn't. He lips crushed mine with force to steel my breath.

What am I doing? I don't want this!

Was all I thought. And then their was another voice. Yes you do. This is right. But it wasn't mine. Was it Clancy's?

I felt him start to lower me on the bed and I pushed him off. "What are you doing?" I asked. And he shushed me.

I shoved him harder but he wasn't moving. With one final push I got him off me. I punched him in the face and got off the bed and headed for the door

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