Ruination

1. Fooled by the Biker

-Some decisions always need a second thought-

Sila

It started as a glorious fairytale. I used to catch a bus to my college with my cousins, and a biker seemed to have got charmed by my presence. The loud, sneaky laughter of his friends, them elbowing each other whenever I walked past them on my way to my college, him choosing me over my cousins...the sensation was dizzily warm.

He was bold, confident and sweet, so openly announced his affiliations. I was an insecure, shy girl who had hardly ever heard words of praise.

I was easy prey.

While walking back from college one day, he had stopped and just simply proposed in front of everyone. We had never exchanged even words before that. His bold, straightforward approach had been so surprising, so shocking yet so flattering. My own insecurities and desperation to be more than just a book nerd, invisible in crowds, had been my own doom.

"Marry me." The twinkle in his stance, the sincerity in his words...he had proposed with a diamond ring. My cousins had immediately ganged up on him for being so obscene and immediately walked me away from the dark streets of Mahal Road. I wish I had never looked back at the words of the street charmer again, yet I did. 

****

"I like someone, mama," I shyly spoke, playing with my fingers. 

We lived in a joint family, so openly making such declarations in front of the whole family could be met with a lot of disapproval. I had pulled my mother from our kitchen and into my room. Before my cousins could tell my mother anything, I wanted to be the first one to share my liking with her. 

Her eyes rounded with surprise,  though I was not sure if this was pleasant or tormented. "Where? How? Do I know him?" She sat beside me on the bed. I had purposely kept the lights of my room dim to feign a feeling of secrecy. 

"Maybe..." I shyly tucked a loose hair lock behind my ear while momentarily staring at the cushion placed on my legs and picking on its beads. "He has been liking me for some time. And-"

"Is he the biker boy?" My mom interrupted, with a serious and sombre look this time. She had folded her hands. 

"How did you know?" I gasped, snapping my head in her direction.

"Your cousins told their mums about how the infamous street boy has been stalking all of you, and how he tends to follow you around." There was an element of disapproval, disappointment lining her tone. 

"Y-yes, but h-he is a v-very nice guy." I knew it was time to plead my case. Cheeks rounded with the preparation of all that I had wanted to say, express the fluttering in my heart caused by the street boy liking me.

"Sila, he wears rings and is mostly found on the streets. The air guns you hear at night...it is him and his friends. He is not a good man, my dear. Boys from the streets never are. He has no job, can offer no stability, and I am extremely furious about how he has been stalking my baby girl. I thought you were smarter than this, Sila." She reprimanded. 

I  straightened up in my defence. "How can you say that mama...I am an adult. I think you have taught me well enough to know what is good or bad for me. And he...he is a good person. Weren't you the one always telling me to never judge a book by its cover. He is sweet. He never ever made me feel uncomfortable and was a fine gentleman in my presence.

I know he has a rough exterior, but I know his heart is good. He respects me. That is what I want in my husband; to have a good heart and really like me."

"Sweetie," she gently patted my head. "We will find a good man for you, but not him, Sila." There was a sternness in her tone. "He doesn't have a good background. You have no idea about his family, lifestyle...all we see him do is roam around on our streets with his friends on black bikes and terrorize people."