Ruination

6. Steeling My Heart

-Steel strings stay strong after several jolts-

Sila

Waking up on a foreign white bed, I had simply sat up straight and cupped my face, sobbing into the palms of my hands...crying my heart out. He was here! With my money, he had been having the time of his life. He had been earning positions, posts! That dreadful night, it forever haunted me. He was here. My nightmare, my ruination...the man responsible for it all was here, and I just didn't know what to do. Questions were rising...how did he even get here?! How! What was he even doing here! This city life was supposed to be MY escape, yet he was here taking that away from me too. I felt so devastated...so trapped. 

My mother had been so right. I should have never spared this man even a glimpse. He was going to crush me whenever I tried getting up, moving on. At all opportunities, he was going to ruin me. I had moved to the big city for opportunities, and he had appeared to ruin that too.  He felt like some parasite that wouldn't leave me alone. 

He wasn't going to leave me alone!

 Suddenly, I was feeling so trapped, so suffocated. 

I had been brought to the nurse's office. There was no one in my room, and the door had been left ajar. There were people still super busy outside. The world seemed to be busy as usual outside, yet inside the white office, I sat on the bed completely trapped....what was I going to do....my heart was mourning. 

Eliyas...another wave of hysteria and pain hit me so bad. That man was just so horrible. He was just so terrible, and he was here again, in my life. What was I going to do? Facing him again terrified me. I gripped onto the bed with steely strength, staring at the white marble floor with the thought of what I was going to do now...just what was I going to do. My one chance of moving forward, making a place already felt out of my grip. 

I just didn't know how to hold on anymore. 

"Sila!" A frantic Maryam now rushed into the nurse's room, looking extremely concerned for me. 

Seeing her pushed me into another wave of heartbroken hysteria, feeling so wronged, so used and tiny. Crying, I allowed her to just pull me into a hug and try my heart out. After suppressing this for so long, after trying to avoid it all...all the pain, all the humiliation of being a wronged bride, it had finally spilt out, and I couldn't control it anymore. After such a long time, I cried my heart out on Maryam's shoulder, I cried over my mistreatment...just how hard it had been...how badly my heart had been hurting all this time. 

I was truly heartbroken. 

Like a small girl yearning for a single hug, I held onto Maryam. I needed it. I needed this so much. I had been needing this for a long time. I just wanted to go back home. I just wanted to stop feeling miserable. Despite trying to feign strength, I was the heartbroken wife who got thrown on the streets by her husband. I was broken. 

"There, there..." She consoled me, hugging my back. "What happened?"

"T-The m-man who l-looted me is here. The m-man who c-conned me... became the reason b-behind me l-landing at H-Hamna's place is here." I couldn't help but finally cry it out. There was no point in hiding this pain anymore. He was here! There was no point in moving on anymore. I had to accept that he had destroyed my happiness. 

"What the heck! Do you want to report this to the police? Who is that man...how did he manage to con you?"

"Apparently, he is some boss of the HR department. He used to roam in my streets...and h-he fooled me. I have no proof to convict him." Tears burst out again, and I pushed my face deeper into her shoulder. The memories, that night, had just refreshed in my mind. I was hating it.