Ruination

13. The Sweetest Offer

-A beacon of light paraded down on my tears-

Sila

I was like a numb and lost worker. Moments got spent in a blur, as I performed my duties while watching the world from the back of my mind. Everything seemed like a blur. It was a locked up sensation, a rigid stance, where my soul had been pushed into a complete state of shock.

I couldn't believe my reality.

I couldn't believe all that was happening to me, that had happened to me. The extent of Eliyas's brutality...I couldn't believe how low he was willing to stoop. Every time I thought he had acted horribly, he would exceed that benchmark. There was no limit to his barbarism. 

I knew how such incidences ended...

I had read newspapers about articles about what unstable obsessive men did. 

It started simple but would soon morph into a crime. The sadistic need to abuse would grow tenfolds until the criminal would finally snap during one episode. I would have to pay for someone's insanity. 

Sold, forgotten and just a lesson for many. 

Eyes averted to the ground, feeling completely trapped and terrified, my mind was racing over ways to get out of this huge mess. I just couldn't think of anything that would work in my favour. I felt ashamed to face Maryam, made sure to stare at the ground to avoid any accidental eye contact with Eliyas and just spent the day wiping every corner of my workplace.

I was a huge mess. 

Now working on the ground floor, mopping the floor in a lost and defeated manner, I yelped as someone grabbed my shoulder from behind.

"Miss," It was just one of the female workers here. "Boss has said that we can go home now." The woman smiled. 

"S-Sure." The pain inside of me had ruined my self-confidence. 

I couldn't speak without feeling low and tiny. My regrets, choices and mistakes had crushed me badly. I had failed myself. I felt so exhausted and defeated. I had been fighting for so long, and today, I just felt like retreating into the corners of my heart.

My strength had taken a break today.  

Nodding, the lady began walking away from me. I momentarily eyed her retreating back and went back to working for a couple more minutes.  It was almost twilight. The building was almost empty. The solace of the evening bit me, and I sighed. 

Loneliness, I was alone. 

I was so miserably alone. 

With dragged feet, I then placed the cleaning equipment in the staffroom and began walking towards the exit of the building. I didn't want to go back to the place that I had been forced to call mine. I felt so ashamed, guilty...

I didn't want to face the girl, hear their accusations that it had been my fault. Maryam would support me, but my other roommates...they would rightfully so be mad at me for bringing danger to their door. No one was willing to fight anyone else's demons. It had only been me who had foolishly decided to overlook Eliyas's damaged ways. 

A street biker...

I hated my choice so much! These weren't my scars. These weren't my issues. The dark realities of the street life were Eliyas's problems. NOT MINE! THEY WERE NEVER MINE. AND I, OUT OF LOVE, OUT OF LONGING NAIVETY, MADE THEM MINE. I was such a fool; the biggest fool...I had just recked myself for love.

Feeling anger turned into a pained sigh again, I walked out of the building and onto the open streets. The public was still on the roads, busy shopping, roaming around and working. Walking down the street path, with bright light blazing on me from the open shops, I  kept my gaze on the floor, only to raise it when a mother with an adorable baby walked past me.