Red vs Blue in the RWBY universe

Boom, Roasted

Sarge: I don't understand why are we in trouble?
He asks as they are in the elevator to go up to Ozpin's office.

Grif: We were completely innocent!

Qrow: You didn't help at all though.

Grif: So not doing something is wrong now?

Sarge: Ugh, things were much better in the olden days.

Grif: Yes Sarge, the olden days where you had fun rubbing two sticks together.

Tucker: Bow chicka bow wow.

Qrow: You guys are so weird.

Caboose: Thank you, old guy.

Qrow: I'm not that old!

Sarge: Yeah, I sound older than him when I'm only 17!

Grif: That's literally illegal, Sarge.
He says as the doors open to reveal an upset Goodwitch, a monotone Ozpin, and a angry Ironwood and Winter.

Winter: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!

Ironwood: If you were one of my men I would have you shot!

Qrow/Grif: If I was one of your men I would shoot myself.
They say, fist bumping each other.

Caboose: Boom, Roasted.

Goodwitch: While I certainly wouldn't condone his behavior, retaliating like you did certainly didn't help the situation.

Winter: He was drunk!

Goodwitch: He's always drunk!
She yells as they all look at Qrow who is chugging a flask of alcohol, then he looks surprised and guilty about it and stops. Then Ozpin just sighs.

Sarge: Reminds me of someone I once knew, It was all back in dru—

Everyone: SHUT UP!
Sarge then jumps and looks down.

Ozpin: Qrow, why are you here.

Ironwood: You've been out of contact in weeks! You can't just go dark like that in the field!

Grif: Wait, you guys report in to each other?

Winter. Yes! We are professionals, surely you do too?

Grif: *scoff* We're sim troopers, not freelancers.

Qrow: Moving off of the idiot train. I'm not one of you're special operatives, Jimmy!

Winter: General.

Qrow: Nobody asked. You sent me to get intel in the enemy, our enemy is here.

Grif: Here as in the planet, the country, or the building?

Winter: Why are they here.

Ozpin: Because they need to find out how those portals are being made, so they can go back to their home.

Ironwood: Yeah, some random portal appeared in my office and some moron named Simmons started to worship me.

Grif: Classic Simmons, wait Simmons?!

Sarge: Where is he?! I missed him so much! But don't tell him, he would be so happy. AND HE WOULD SLACK OFF! But seriously though what happened to him?

Ironwood: We executed him.

Tucker: Aw so sad, too bad nobody missed him.