Speak (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

[28; where hope goes to die]

Nowadays, it felt like sadness was a recurring theme for you.

Your discussion with Monoma the other day had done little to assuage your fears—if anything, it had actually made things worse. Even now you still couldn't get the image out of your head; Katsuki's expression, contorted with malice, as he gripped the other boy by the throat.

He wasn't the person that others thought he was. You knew that by now. Yet still, his actions at times made you feel nervous and uneasy. It wasn't exactly normal, was it? For someone to lose their composure so quickly? To transition from levelheadedness to rage in just a few moments?

You couldn't understand. You hated violence. Some part of you was still struggling with all that was required of you, in becoming a hero. Even just the thought of having to hurt someone made a pit settle into your stomach—your soulmate seemed to welcome it with open arms, and a crooked grin on his lips.

The disconnect was strong. You realized that now.

"[Name]-chan..."

Uraraka slumped her brows. She could tell that you were struggling with something; she knew that you were unwilling to confide in her. You could only imagine how upset that must have been making her, but you just couldn't bring yourself to talk on the subject. You knew it was selfish to behave like this; to allow your expression to crumple in on itself and worry your friends. Before, you might've tried to conceal it all with a smile and go along like there was nothing weighing you down. You were far too exhausted to bother doing that anymore.

The only person who you pretended around was Katsuki himself.

Whenever his mark would start hurting, you would just brush it off with a white lie. Sometimes you told him you had a headache and you weren't feeling too well; right now you argued stress, and how scared you were about the upcoming final exams. He would always scoff, reassuring you that he'd tutored you himself and so you'd do just fine.

You almost wondered why you didn't feel guilty, hiding the truth from him for so long. Then you realized that this entire relationship was essentially built on lies—fabricated in spite of the real feelings you were suppressing.

The whole thing was just one big joke.

"Come on," Uraraka whined, imploring you with her big, brown eyes. "I can't stand seeing you so upset all the time. Why won't you ever talk to me anymore? Are you mad at me? Did I do something to make you angry?"

You managed a tight-lipped smile. "Of course not. That's ridiculous."

"Then why? You never used to hide things from me, and don't say that you're not—I think we both know full well that there's something serious going on." She paused, adding cautiously, "Is it about Bakugou-kun...?"

"Yes."

The candor surprised you, but it was the most you'd speak on the subject, in any case. Uraraka stared back at you, gaze unwavering. She must've realized you weren't going to say anything else. Her shoulders slumped.

"I understand," she mumbled sadly. "If you don't want to tell me about it, then I can't force you. I just need you to know that I'm always here to listen, whenever you're ready. I might not know much about him, but if nothing else, I'll always be a shoulder to cry on."

"Thank you. I know I'm being shitty right now, but I promise I'll tell you. When I get over this slump I'm in."

She smiled in spite of her dejection. Classes were over now; you were wading through the hallways and heading towards the lobby to retrieve your things. You'd left as soon as the bell had rung, hoping to avoid Katsuki. You hadn't seen him follow after you, so he might've stayed behind in the classroom with Kirishima a while longer.