Chapter 16 - Coping

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The lab falls eerily silent while Bruce and Tony hold their collective breath. Even the A/C quiets, and the air stands still. Everyone - and everything - frozen. 

But not you.

Your mind is reeling and you're completely overwhelmed. You can feel your pulse in your temples and your breathing becomes jagged and shallow.

"Squirt...?" says Tony, coming up to you slowly and placing a hand on your shoulder.

Upon feeling his touch, you jerk away, jumping from the table and backing up.

"No...no that's-that's not right," you say. "There's been some sort of mistake," you say, looking up to Bruce and Tony. "It's impossible."

"I don't know what to tell you, squirt," says Tony. "It's clear as day."

"Fuck," you hiss in confusion, brow furrowed as a hand flies impulsively to your stomach. "Fuck!" you exhale again, tears brimming in your eyes.

Pepper takes note of the distress you're in from across the room and quickly makes her way to you. "What's going on?" she asks as you back up to the wall and slide straight down, hugging your knees to your chest. Tony and Bruce both shake their heads in disbelief and resignation, gesturing to you in helplessness. Pepper knits her brow in confusion and turns her attention to you, crouching at your side. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asks, brushing a tear off your cheek.

"They said I'm...I'm...," you can't bring yourself to say the words, and you look up pleadingly at Tony.

"Pregnant, Pep. Squirt's pregnant."

Pepper lets out a quiet gasp, and looks up at Bruce, who nods his head, confirming the diagnosis. Clearly taken aback, Pepper's gaze darts between the men as she swallows, brow furrowed in concentration. "Okay," she says after a moment, keeping her tone calm and measured. "How far along?"

"It's hard to say but I'd say about six to eight weeks," says Bruce, who has stepped back behind the screen to look at the results of the bio-scan once more.

"No...no I'm telling you, it's impossible," you say quietly.

"You diddled the guy for months," Tony snaps. "How impossible can it be?"

"Tony!" Pepper snaps, glaring at Tony disapprovingly.

"What?" Tony shrugs. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"But I-I'm not...I can't be," you plead, tears now falling freely down your face.

"Why, honey? Why do you say that?" Pepper asks.

"Because HYDRA they...they told me th-that....that they had taken away my ability to have kids," you answer, your eyes wide as you feel hot tears starting to brim.

"Wait, what?!" hisses Tony, his nostrils flaring. Taking several quick steps to you and crouching down beside Pepper, he gazes into your eyes, unsettled. "What do you mean, kiddo?"

"I mean," you say, finding yourself growing angry. "That they told me I was dangerous. That if I had children, then who knows what sort of power that child might have. So they put me through a 'treatment' - a bunch of injections of...something. To sterilize me. I wasn't supposed to-I was never meant to-," you struggle to finish your sentence as you feel yourself growing light headed, and you feel a sharp pain in your chest making it difficult to breath.

"Your little bun in the oven there might not be convenient," Tony frowns. "But it sure as hell isn't up to them," he spits.

As Tony speaks, memories of sharp needles and agonizing pain flash through your mind as your own phantom screams echo between your ears. Grief you've already once processed bubbles to the surface, mixed with confusion and fear. 

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