Inside The House

XIV

Myra stood in the doorway, not expecting to see the three of us in my room. She looked stressed and wanted to say something, but the words were not coming out of her mouth. The presence of a maid at this hour meant, of course, that Apolonia was calling me to the ballet room. Myra came to communicate this to me, but she was aware that Apolonia wanted no one to know about my meetings with her. I knew that if I didn't react quickly, if I didn't think of something quickly, Kevin and Aurelia would start to suspect something. I decided to speak up before the maid finally put together some words of explanation as to why she had come.

- Sorry we were loud. - I started by fixing my gaze on her. - We were just about to go to our rooms.

- What? – Myra started a confused and stressed. - Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. Why else would I come here right? You were loud.

Myra was a terrible liar. The perfect maid for someone like Apolonia Von Rostov.

- Right! - Kevin almost screamed while scratching behind his head. He jumped off the bed at an express pace. - Aurelia, it's time for us to go. - He hurried the teen.

Kevin seemed extremely embarrassed and shy at this point. No wonder, I felt the same way myself. It was barely seconds before we almost kissed. Our lips were already so close... If Myra hadn't barged into the room Kevin and I would have exchanged kisses. I felt like something incredibly heavy had fallen on my head. On the one hand I wanted that kiss. On the other hand, it would be extremely irresponsible. Kevin was going to be my half-brother and kissing him to make myself feel better would definitely not lead to anything good in the long run. On the other hand, a question arose in my mind that will now plague me. Is Kevin Von Rostov gay?

- Until tomorrow Max. - Said Kevin avoiding my gaze, dragging Aurelia by the hand from my room.

Myra only gave me a pleading look crying "help" and closed the door, leaving me alone in my bedroom. I knew I couldn't go down to the Ballet Room right away because both Kevin and Aurelia would hear it.

Kevin... A handsome student at the royal military academy. What did I really know about him other than that he was attractive, kind, and caring? Nothing much, actually. My heart was still beating like crazy thinking about it for a while when I felt his paw on my cheek. When I felt the warmth of his breath on my lips. Fuck, fuck. Fuck! Stop, Kevin can't please me for a simple reason. He's going to be my goddamn half-brother. Maybe I'm just being dramatic? Maybe Kevin just wanted to try something new because he knows I'm gay. On the other hand, if we kissed, I might feel even more alone afterwards than before. I can't put my relationship with Kevin through any negative friction. I want to live with him in friendship, without any sick actions. This was the first and last time that happened. Maybe Kevin just felt sorry for me. Maybe he didn't know how to comfort me? There were so many conflicting thoughts swirling around in my head that I thought my brain was about to explode. I tried to recall previous situations with the wolf. There were a few moments where his words or reactions to how I looked were strange. But that could also be overinterpreting his behavior. Maybe he just doesn't know how to talk to a homosexual? What if he likes me? Fuck.

I jumped off the bed as if electrocuted. I need to clear my mind, and dancing will help me do that. I'll have to stare at that old whore, but tough. She knows her job, and I'll get a kick out of dancing. I left the room as quietly as possible and tiptoed down the old wooden stairs in the semi-darkness of the house. Heading to the east wing of the house I was already buzzed and ready. So much excitement was raging inside me that I didn't even pay attention to Myra standing outside the door to the east wing. She wanted to say something, but I almost ran into the hallway. I skirted the darkness of the corridor, heading for the farthest hall, where a glowing lamp was shining on a table set by the piano. Apolonia was sitting at the instrument with a stern expression on her face, holding a cup in her hands, probably filled with tea. I stopped in front of her for a moment and then looked at the mirrors in the ballet room and the railings on them. I moved wordlessly toward them.