Inside The House

Epilouge

Desmont could not find a place for himself in his own apartment all day. Every now and then he would get up and sit back down on his desk chair. That day he had probably drunk all the black coffee he had. He wasn't in the habit of smoking, but the decision he was considering was making him almost hysterical with stress. He had talked to his girlfriend earlier about what he thought of the idea that had come into his head. She was not happy, but she understood his situation. She said that she would not help him and whatever he decided, her feelings for Desmond would not change. With those words, she left his apartment that evening. Whenever the man tried to find any excuse not to do it, he immediately found an explanation as to why he had to do it. The bonus at work and the opportunity to take a month off seemed to be the perfect opportunity to make this decision. On the one hand, he was unhappy that his girlfriend wasn't willing to advise or help him. On the other hand, he knew he shouldn't bring her into it. They were his demons of the past and his alone.

- Alright, one more time. - He said to himself sitting down at his desk.

His hands started typing something on the laptop's keyboard, but before they could finish, Desmont closed the laptop with a quick and brisk motion of his hand. He grabbed his face and rubbed it. He was not crying. He had no reason to cry. It was only the news that had reached him from a faraway world that made him realize that he was about to face the threat of losing what should have always been most important to him. He had made many mistakes in his life, but that did not make him a bad person. Desmont at that moment didn't know that, he considered himself at that moment for a bad person who had hurt another. He wanted to make it right in any way he could, but was it possible?

With that thought, he once again booted up his laptop. Drops of sweat ran down his creamy forehead, and his hands began to tremble again before they touched the keyboard. Once again he slammed the laptop shut and got up from his seat. He started to look around for the pack of cigarettes he had bought yesterday. This one, was lying on the windowsill by the kitchen window. He walked over to it and pulled out one cigarette. He opened the window and lit the flame in the lighter. He inhaled the smoke and then took out his phone. He had already dialed his girlfriend's number to beg her for support and any advice. Just as he was about to call, he hesitated. He wrinkled his forehead and put out the phone. "Everyone is the blacksmith of their own destiny Desmont," he thought.

Desmont was also not in the habit of drinking alcohol. It used to be his almost daily practice, but that time has long passed. Today, however, he would allow himself a glass of Whiskey. So he went to his bar, in which there was only this one bottle. He had received it as a gift from his boss, for outstanding performance at work. He received alcohol, a bonus, a raise, and the opportunity to take a month's vacation at any time. Desmont poured a little alcohol into the glass and drank it right away. After that, he poured himself another little bit and headed towards his laptop again.

He had doubts, that was a fact. He was filled with uncertainty and shame. A huge shame. He did not know how the company would behave when they saw him. He was also not sure if he should go there. He didn't know how he would be received. Yet so much time had passed, and his pain was growing. Not because of his ex-wife, but because of the child he believed his ex-wife had appropriated. For Desmont was a father. In a way, a long forgotten father. He thought it was for the best. He thought his kid would do better if he wasn't close to him. He thought he would get used to it. Although Desmont's past behavior ultimately did not show his love for his child, the truth was different. He loved his child and could no longer bear the separation. He wanted to at least talk to his offspring. At least a moment. But did his child want this conversation with his father? Desmont did not know.

The man once again booted up his laptop that evening. The phrase he had typed on the Internet was already engraved in his memory. He knew what data to type in. The man had already made a lot of progress, because earlier he had not even decided to go to the airline's website. This time he did. The stress of the decision he had to make was too overwhelming for him. He found that he would at least check the airfares. As Desmont typed in, on the keyboard, the destination of his trip, he hesitated even more. All signs in heaven and earth suggested that he had to do it. A plane ticket with a stopover in London would be half the price if purchased in the spring. The return would be in exactly one month at the same price with the same stopover in London. Desmont stared at his laptop screen for the next twenty minutes. He decided that to make sure, he would flip a coin. We don't know what decision was signified by the heads and tails on the coin. After the coin toss, the eagle came out. Desmont hesitated. He had to be sure. So he tossed the coin again. This time it was heads, which disgusted him even more. Finally, angry with himself, with his ex-wife, and with everything that had happened, he threw the coin against the wall, full of rage. He got up from his laptop and dialed his girlfriend's number.

- Desmont, are you okay? - She asked.

- Yes. - He said in a voice fully aware and responsible. He already knew what the consequences of his actions could be. He knew he had no choice if he did not want to lose his child. - I had made my decision.