Please save me before it's too late

Explained (13)

pfttttt my authors notes were so cringe sorry hehe

I'm ok now, so that's why I decided to post again :D

I'm saying it again.. FOLLOW depressedbeef

INCLUDES MENTIONS OF SELF HARMING AND SOME MENTIONS OF ABUSE

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The three boys were on Minho's bed. This conversation was important for them to have. Even though they should be having the conversation with all of the members, they figured it was gonna be easier for Minho to open if only they were there.

Minho was sitting into the wall and his legs crossed while he was fidgeting with his fingers. The two other boys were sitting in front of him.

"Sooo... could you start off by telling us where this all began?", Chan suggested and finally met Minho's eyes. 

Minho wanted more than anything to tell them, but he was ashamed. He felt disgusting. Why should he tell them and bother them with his own stupid thoughts and actions?

Seungmin intertwined their hand's which made Minho relax. "Well.. It.. uhmm.. uhh.."

"It's okay Minho, you're safe here. You can tell us anything"

He took a deep breath before finally starting to talk.

"Umm.. Well I have always been a little insecure.. about.. myself? My parents didn't really treat me so good.. My dad would hit me and really hurt me.... and my mom.. she would call me out for everything I did.. never forgetting to remind me how worthless I am .."

Tears were falling down his cheeks and he started to sob a little. Chan's and Seungmin's eyes softened at the sight and the things they were told. Minho had never told them his childhood story. They had never expected it to be this bad. A tear fell down from Seungmin's eye.

Minho continued.

"I-I haven't really told you guys this yet, since I wasn't sure what you would think about it, but... I'm bisexual as well.. but if you're not comfortable with it, I can change! I mean, that's what I've done my whole life!" His voice was a little shaky. 

Seungmin held Minho's eyes tighter and tears continued to flow down. "O-Of course you're allowed to be b-bisexual! You're allowed to like whoever you want, Minho.. did you really think we wouldn't accept you?", Seungmin exclaimed while sobbing. Minho started to sob louder and just nodded. 

Tears were visible in Chan's eyes as well, but he kept them there. He needed to stay strong for him. Chan was Minho's only Hyung, so he felt very responsible for taking good care of him. (*cough* *cough* good care.. yeah you took very good care of him earlier Chan smh)

"Well.. they hated me.. they h-hated me so much! So that lead to doing.. something. Something I should never have done, but I couldn't resist it."

The oldest looked at Minho with wide eyes. It wasn't what he was thinking, right? 

"at the age of sixteen, I had started.. uh.. c-cutting myseLF", he broke into a loud sob which made his voice crack. 

Both Chan and Seungmin wasted no time and gave the crying boy a big hug. 

"oh my god, Minho... how could they, your parents, ever do something like that to their own son?" 

Minho shuddered at the thought of his parents. It was a memory he wanted to forget, but it felt good to finally be able to tell someone.

"And I know I didn't really apologize for Jeongin, but.. I was just scared.. I didn't want you to hate me like my parents did. You have all rights to be mad at me, just please.. p-please don't hate me"

Chan finally let a tear drop. "So everything started again after that day?". Minho nodded and Chan started apologizing. "Minho, I'm so sorry for ever making you feel like that. You're everything to us. I promise you. You mean everything to us and we could NEVER hate you. Jisung's been crying himself to sleep because he's worried about you. He never meant to flinch that one time. He's been feeling so guilty and it's breaking him. All we want is for you to be happy. We love you so much. We're not mad.. just.. please.. please come to us next time, instead of dealing with this all by yourself".

Everyone was crying by now. Loud sobs were heard in the whole room. Seungmin dragged Minho's hand softly to him and felt his arm. It was like touching a stick. "Minho.. you're so underweight.. why haven't you been eating anything? If you continue not eating.. you know you can.. umm.. you know?" Seungmin didn't want to continue his sentence and of course the others knew what he was talking about. Getting an eating disorder was never his plan, but thats how it turned out. 

"Because I'm fat. W-what other reason could it be? That's what he's telling me"

"Who?"

"The voice inside my head.. "(break free from the voices in my head! sorry)

It felt so good to finally tell them his thoughts. He felt the weight fall off from his shoulders. He wouldn't have to deal with all this shit alone.

No one was talking, but the silence was comforting. It felt good. 

"I promise we're gonna help you through this, but I have a question for you" Chan said and Minho hummed in response. "Have you ever considered maybe seeing a therapist? I'm not gonna force you to go, but I think that would be really good"

Minho hadn't really thought about therapy before. It might be good for him, but then we would have to tell a stranger about everything. It was hard enough to tell Chan and Seungmin. How was he gonna be able to tell anyone he didn't even know?

"You don't have to answer it right now, ok? Take some time to decide", Seungmin hurried and said when he noticed Minho hesitating. 

There was another silence, but this one was broke by Minho. "ummm, are you guys gonna tell the others about.. ehh.. this?"

Chan chuckled softly. "We're not gonna tell anyone if you don't want us to".

Did he want to? Yes. He didn't want to make it seem like he trusten Seungmin and Chan more than the others. He wanted all of them to know how much he trusted them. "C-could you tell them? I don't want to tell them myself, but I want them to know.. They deserve to know my past. I know I've hurt them a lot, so I want them to know why.. please"

It surprised the two others a little, but they understood. That was ok. 

"hmm, ok, I can tell them for you.. do you want to at least be there?", Chan said which made Minho lighten up a little. Yeah, he wanted to be there.

"Yeah, I would like that"

Chan went up to him again and hugged him, while Seungmin still sat across the bed.

"We'll figure this whole thing out together, ok?" Chan whispered into Minho's ear and the younger started to blush a little before giving a small nod and smiling softly. 

"Thank you so much for understanding.. I really appreciate it"

"No problem, Minmin, we love you so much"