Ten Things One Thing || Aaron Burr

The threes, Aaron Burr

Welcome to this week's newest update of Angst of Aaron.
Today we will be working on day 3, month 3, and year 3 after the death of Alexander Hamilton.
In other news, please check out my conversations for information about future postings.
Gimme a follow, (I follow back!) And check out urobedientservant because she is legit, is a great writer, and follows back too.

Now that I've been way too formal let's rumble bitches.

Day Three:

Darkness covers my mind as I sleep.
My sleeping conscious, not my awake thoughts.
I won't remember this when I wake up. Not the thoughts.

But the dreams are scaring me.

Tonight my demons didn't give the quite the same thing.

It was just hallow blackness as a tempo block started ticking.

From somewhere above me a spotlight clicked on and in the isolated yellow beam stood... John Laurens.

I took a few echoing steps closer to him; he smiled kindly at me.

Then another light clicked on a few yards away, in the beam, Theodosia. My wife!

I ran to her, shock covering my face, and she grinned with her knowing smirk and squinting eyes.

I tried to walk into the beam to be with her, but she shook her head and put out her hand.

We both looked over as another light flicked on.

My mother and father stood in the beam, smiling softly at me as tears filled my eyes.

"Mom?" I croaked.

'Mom?' 'Mom'?

My voice echoed around me to the tick of the tempo block.

She smiled sadly, and looked over to her left, where I looked, right as another light clicked on and in the beam stood Charles Lee.

I cocked my head sideways at him and he nodded politely.

"Guys, what's going on!?" I turned around from Lee to look back at all of them, but they were all gone.

Now it was just light coming from nowhere, there were no more beams of light.

The tempo block beat once and in between the next beat there was a loud sound, like a crash, like a...
Gunshot.

Then the tempo block beat again.
Weaker, not so loud.

It slowly got slower. Quieter.

I stood in the dark light as the tempo block came to a stop.
And then in front of me another light appeared.

And in it stood Alexander.

"MR. BURR! Please awaken! You're frightening me!" I was jolted awake by my maid, a candle on the bedside table.

I squeased my eyes shut and swallowed, my throat sore from screaming.

I turned into my pillow and felt another round of tears fall out of my eyes into the pillow.

1
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3
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5
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8
9
10

"WAIT!"
"Forgive me..."

Month 3:

I've woken up from a dream at least three times a week for a month.

That's progress, I guess.

Louisiana is.... nice.
I would want to start a new country down here of my own.

Away from Americans who despise me. I cannot even go as Aaron Burr anymore up there.

Aaron Edwards, at your service.

I have... visited him once.
last week I got so low I wanted to bleed myself out right next to him.
So I went upstate.

I still want too a little bit.
Then I saw her.
Eliza.

I had to run before I could bleed.

My dreams have just been flashes of Alex still.
Never had the spotlight one again.

Theodosia is the only thing keeping me alive right now.
I saw him one time.

Right as I woke up I saw him, smiling softly at me. But within a blink he was gone.

My place in Louisiana is small enough to not feel empty but big enough to hold a ball.

I stepped in front of a mirror yesterday.
Do I really look like a dead man walking?

Yes.

My eyes are gaunt and red, swollen and swallow.
My cheeks are pale and blotchy.
A quiet pride I used to carry around on my shoulders has been slouched away.

My lips are cracked and faded-

(I will not kiss you kiss you kiss you- MCR or TøP?)

And...
I just look like hell.

Sleep only comes for me when I fall asleep writing.
Writing with the quill he gave me for my birthday.

And I'm already almost out of his shiny purple ink...

Memoirs to my daughter.
Drawings of things.

Writing music with a new appreciation.
I guess that's new.

I've never liked distracting background music before.

My dearest Alexander,
Yet again I let my mind wander back to you.
Not our last disagreement, but to better times.
I would like to raise a toast to you later, tomorrow. It's already almost Easter.

Perhaps you would care to come back to life?

I would be most overjoyed.
I have discovered a dark bleak life with your death on my hands.

With your death at all.
I miss you with a passion.

Please consider.

Love,
A. Burr

Then I took my latest letter and burned it, throwing the ashes to the wind for the spirits to read.

Year Three:

I lay awake staring at the birds in the trees outside my bedroom window.

Too many things happen so fast in life that it is nice to be able to wait for something every day, exercise patience.

That's something I have tended to forget these past few years.

I wish only that there was some way to turn back...
Not time, but alter a choice.

Alter something just enough so there wasn't such a dilemma.

I've reduced the nightmares to one  every two weeks, three at most.

I still am hallow and gaunt. But there is some life in me again.

Scars are beginning to heal.

And as a mocking bird alights upon a branch, I whistle to it.

And I laugh when it perfectly repeats Wait for It.

Until it looks me dead in the eye and falls ocer, feathers rotting and eyes eaten by ants and I wake in cold sweat.

And I found the body of the real Jay a day later.

dun DUn DUN-
Hi readers! Hope y'all enjoyed this week's update!!

But I'm super tired now so I'm going to head to sleep.
Love yall, thanks for bothering to read😅

Bye!
--Child of the Cranberries