salvia. [h.s. AU]

Chapter Twenty Five

Maria Eduarda

Oh, my god.

Orgasms are wonderful!

I've never felt something so amazing before. I mean, seriously, that was incredible.

It was so freaking good, I fell asleep right after - not even the creepy Meredith's Shrine kept me from drifting off to sleep land. My body and mind were never so relaxed and in peace before, and it felt like heaven to fall asleep in Harry's arms.

Of course, the whole magic was completely broken when I woke up this morning and the first thing I saw was the suicide note she left for him. I don't think I've ever crawled out of bed so quickly before. Harry was still completely dozed off, so I tip-toed out of the room, closing the door behind me.

After taking a shower in "my" room, I changed my clothes to the white pants and dress shirt Mrs. Styles asked me to wear while working in the kitchen, and went downstairs with my cheeks still flushed as I thought about Harry's fingers while I was in the shower.

Catherine was already around, but although she threw me the dirtiest of looks when our eyes met in the hallway, she didn't say a word to me.

Not even good morning, for that matter.

I thought about trying to talk with her and explain myself, but I didn't really know what to say. I mean, apparently she already hates me, probably considers me unprofessional, which I guess I am, considering I'm sleeping with the boss. Sure, anyone who knows our story and is aware of what's happening between Harry and I, may not think so little of me, but it's not Catherine's case.

I prepared breakfast almost in auto-pilot, not really paying attention to what I was doing. I made orange juice, black coffee, a croque monsieur for Harry and sliced some fruits as well, but my mind was completely elsewhere.

On the second floor, in Harry's room, to be more specific.

What the fuck was that?

I mean, I never thought I would find myself agreeing with Chloe, but now I totally get it why she didn't want to sleep there. Honestly, I only did it because A, I was too tired and B, I didn't want to hurt Harry. But for fucks sake, that was definitely not what I was expecting. Sure, I don't really know what else to expect, but a shrine to his deceased ex wasn't it.

I didn't lie to him, though. I do respect his pain, but seeing how much he loved her and how much he misses her is way too intimidating. For a moment there, I even thought he was trying to tell me without using words that I should step back. That I will never mean to him what she meant, that he will never love me like that. I know that love is not a competition, and it definitely shouldn't feel like one, but man, it's harsh to tussle against cute daily post-its, beautiful pictures and framed suicide notes. Even that, something supposed to be creepy, was one of the most beautiful things I've ever had.

I mean, yeah, Meredith is gone and I'm so sorry for that, but if there's life after death, when Harry and I's time comes, who is he going to choose between us?

Hard stuff to think about.

On the other hand, we shared such beautiful words last night. He told me I was his poetry, his muse, that I inspire him. He said he adores me.

Jesus, I adore him just as much.

It shouldn't be a surprise for me to be so distracted today. I mean, between seeing Harry's room for the first time, exchanging declarations in the dark and experiencing my very first orgasm, it's a lot to take.

And hey, maybe I'm shallower than expected, but the thing is, what simply doesn't leave my mind is the last item on the list. The orgasm.

A.k.a, Oh-my-God.