friends with benefits

Part 12

"I... I thought I could protect you from more harm if I keep my distance to you", he said looking down on his hands. A short silence followed and you let him search his words before you were going to say something.

He was sitting with his legs spread on the bench and he rested his lower arms on his thighs, his upper body leaning forward.

"And I was afraid. I never felt so much for someone like I do for you", he said quietly, "and I was scared you were going to leave me as soon as you had enough of me."

The pieces of your hearts slowly stuck back together hearing his confession. You were so glad he was honest with you.

You knew how much strength it took to make yourself vulnerable to someone.

"But I guess I wasn't the one to decide that", he said smiling slightly, "I didn't have the right to hurt you in this way and I... I hope you can forgive me."

You smiled tearing up a bit and took his hand in both of your hands.

"I never blamed you because... I understand probably better than anyone", you said and his shoulders relaxed, "thank you so much for telling me this. But..."

He looked up and you could see how desperate he was. But you had to say this.

"I'm not sure of this works out", you said biting down on your lip, "you manipulated me, I manipulated you..."

"...I got hurt, you got hurt", you said and he nodded slowly, "damn, we even ended up in hospital. I don't think we're good for each other, at least not right now."

He breathed heavily and let his head hang low. But he didn't pull his hand away, yet.

"Truth is, we both need therapy", you said laughing quietly at the thought and he chuckled too. You were glad because it relieved some tension.

"Y/N, you should know I'll do anything to make this work", he said looking up into your eyes and you could see the pain he was trying to hide, "I can't lose you, not again."

You finally realised how much the accident must have scared him, he was hurting too.

"Anything?", you asked. "I'll do anything to make you believe that you can count on me. That I can be a better man, that we're meant to be", he said.

"Even if that means you have to let me go?"

"Yes.."

A tear rolled down your cheek because it hurt you so much to say this. But you had to leave, you both needed time to heal and you had to do that on your own.

"I got a scholar ship to go to Newton", you said and it seemed like he knew what was coming, "I'm going to leave town and finish my studies there."

"Okay", he said looking on the ground and pulled his hand away, "I understand. I wish you all the best, you deserve it."

You bit your lip again to prevent yourself from sobbing. You could feel him fading away again and that was not what you wanted.

"Will you wait for me?", you asked almost whispering. He looked up and his eyes were filled with pure love.

"Of course", he said regarding you as if he had to remember every little detail of your face, "I'd wait forever for you."

Another tear rolled down your cheek and you leaned towards him. You cupped his face in your hand and pressed your lips tenderly on his before you got up. 

You took your crooks and slowly walked away not looking back. You had to do this even though it almost broke you.

Three years later

After so many hours of hard work you finally graduated and had your bachelor in arts pedagogy. You were so proud of yourself and happy that you could return to your friends in your home town.

They were so supportive of your decision and your mother always had your back. For Christmas holidays and when you had a bit time left you drove back and met up with Carly and Will. They even came to visit you a few times but you were glad to be back.

You didn't know what the future holds and you also weren't sure if you would do your master and where. The only thing on your mind was him. You never stopped thinking about him for one day and now you could eventually see him. You were so excited.

Your graduation ceremony already took place but Carly's and Will's didn't so you could join it. And of course, you were hoping to run into Taehyung.

You clapped loudly for both of them and waited for them to come off the stage.

"Hiiii, Y/N I missed you so much", Carly said as they both hugged you.

"I missed you too", you said breaking the hug, "congratulations."

You smoothed out your light blue summer dress when you saw him. You froze and blinked.

He was as handsome as on the first day you met him. He grew his soft brown hair a bit longer which made it curl up framing his face. His skin was slightly tanned and a sheepish smile played on his lips while he was talking to a girl next to him.

The girl. Who was the freaking girl?

You felt a sting in your stomach and saw your happiness crumbling in front of your inner eye. He got himself a girlfriend, of course.

He put his arm around her and laughed at something she said. He moved his head and his gaze fell on you. He stared at you in disbelief and his lips parted surprised.

He dropped his arm which was around the girl and took a step towards you.

"Y/N", you couldn't hear him because he was too far away but you could read his lips saying your name.

You wanted to hold back but you couldn't. You've missed him so much. Your feet didn't listen to your mind but your heart and you just started running. Right into his open arms.

You threw your arms around his neck and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck breathing in his scent. You had so much power that you almost swept him off his feet. He wrapped his arms tightly around your figure and lifted you up a little.

You tried to hold back your tears but a few tears escaped your eyes anyway. He inhaled the smell of your hair and gently put you down on your feet.

You didn't care if he had a girlfriend or not, the only thing that counted right now was that you were in his arms.

"I missed you so much", you mumbled onto his neck and began sobbing.

"I missed you too", he said stroking your back. The sound of his deep voice was like balm for your soul.

"How are you?", you asked pulling away from the hug and regarded his face carefully. You were afraid he might be gone the next second.

"I-", before you could explain yourself he put his lips on yours capturing them in a sweet kiss. You sighed into the kiss relieved, you missed his touch so much.

You've been dreaming about this moment for so long and you never wanted it to end. But you ran out of air and had to pull away.

You looked at him not moving your face away from his so that you were still close. He was all smiles and rested his forehead against yours.

"Feels good to have my girl back", he said and pecked your lips once more.