Precious Sins

Chapter seven

The next few weeks pasted relatively quickly. I hadn't received any more phone calls and Zeke had unexpectedly had to go on a mission- much to my delight because after what I heard I never wanted to see his face again. However, I doubted that my luck would continue as Zeke was expected to arrive back at the resort this evening.

I was already dreading his arrival especially since Aerin had tricked me into going around to her apartment at the hotel and joining family dinner.

It was weird to me that they have family dinner every weekend together. Even though I knew that it was a regular thing for most families.

Unlike Aunt Regina, my mom was never interested in doing traditional familial things such as family meals. The closest thing we got to family bonding time was a day trip to the gun range or training centre. Which, don't get me wrong, was beyond fun as my mom would make whatever we were doing into a game but it wasn't... socially acceptable or normal.

Then again nothing about Ava Thomas was normal.

I had considered just skipping it completely but she had really helpful with the pregnancy that I felt bad for even thinking about it. For Aerin I would show up.

"yaghib Elisia Diggory".

Someone calling my fake alias snaps me out of my thoughts. I get to my feet and briskly stride over to the nurse who is watching me with a smile.

"marhabaan shukraan liruyati alyawm" I smile and she just laughs cheerfully.

"la tashkurni. 'iinaha wazifati baed kula shay' , anasa".

"rubama walakun yjb 'an takun mashghulaan jiddaan watama tajil almaweid bsbb sadiqiin" I say sheepishly as I remember Aerin on the phone to the hospital. That women was scary when she wanted to be.

She laughs lightly before leading me to a hospital room. She gestures to the bed with a smile.

"alduktur aleabbadiu sayusaedik alywm. Hu yamura waqt tawil , 'iidha kunt tastatie alaistilqa' ealaa alsarir min ajly fsykwn dhlk jydana"

She continues to ask me questions as she filled out the form with any details they might need whilst I hover awkwardly by the door. When she is satisfied that she has gotten everything she gestures to the bed again.

"shukraan lak" I mutter as I take a step in the room. God. I was so nervous. The room and the ultra sound machine was intimating and I want to run away. It's what I am the best at, after all.

I take a deep breath- gather my nerves- and walk cautiously towards the bed. I wish that Mom was here or one of my sisters but they weren't.

That's the problem with running.

I've run and run and run so far to hide from my problems, and now that they have caught up I don't have anyone left. My family. My friends they are all miles away from me. In every possible sense. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.

Would anyone come if I called them? Maybe Alexa - but she already has so much going on which is why I didn't tell her before- or Railyn would. Mom would possibly try but if she actually came would depend on papà's condition. She wouldn't leave him if he was suffering.

I flinch at the thought. I try not to acknowledge the fact that mom would subconsciously chose papà over us. The thought makes me want to scream until my lungs collapse and my body gives up on me again. Maybe mom would pay attention to me for once instead of fussing over papà...

I immediately hate myself for even thinking like that. It's not papà's fault that he is ill. These feelings are one of the many problems that I am running from.

Overall, papà's condition makes it increasingly difficult to breathe due to permanent damage of the lungs and constricting airways.

His death is a invertible thing and we are all stuck playing this sick waiting game.

It could kill him at any time, on any day, in any month and it has only gotten worse with old age. Fuck. It nearly has before and I didn't even know until the next day because Enzo had decided I had done something wrong and deserved to be punished.

I was out for nearly 3 days after his 'punishment' and I couldn't even tell my family why I hadn't been there to support Mom and Papà. My siblings had all ignored me for nearly a month afterwards because I didn't explain my absence. How could I without revealing every lie I told them in the past 7 years?

"Hi, are you ready?" A women beams as she walks into the room. My head snaps around to face her but her smile doesn't even falter.

I inspect her for any threats before nodding curtly. Once.

"Can you lift your top up for me so I can put the gel on? Just a warning, the gel will be cold when I first out it on".

This women seems very, very perky considering it was 10am. I do as she instructs without another word and zone out as applies the gel and starts using the medical tool to spread the gel. She continues scoping around and squinting at the screen with furrowed brows. A thousand unwanted scenarios rush through my mind as she continues peering at the small, black-and-white picture.

God. I've already done something wrong. My baby is hurt. There's something really wrong with them because of me. They aren't growing like they are supposed to.

I snap out of my panicked state at the sound of my doctors voice, "here is your little angel. They were hiding from us for a minute. The head is right here-"

My ears start ringing and her words become a distant sound as I gape at the ultrasound. I watch in awe it move inside me. My baby. They were tiny. Barely a size of a coconut, I faintly hear the doctor giggle, as her hand moves across the screen as she points out small things I wouldn't notice on my own.

I watch enchanted by the small movements and a small smile is playing on my lips despite my furrowed brows. They already seem so precious and perfect to me, what if I'm not any good at being a parent? What if I accidentally hurt them and it isn't just my imagination next time?

My heart seems to be beating a million times per hour as I sit and watch intently for a few more minutes. My worries fading away as I focus on the soothing sound of my baby's heartbeat.
— — —

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES! This update is over a month late and I know it's awful. I've had a lot going on recently and honestly I totally forgot about this book.

I hope you all have had a good month and will forgive me for abandoning you all!

I love and appreciate you all so much.