Thinking Out Loud- Larry Stylinson

Untitled Part 15

Louis POV

The recovery from my stabbing takes longer than I thought it would, and the happiness of having another baby is soon overtaken with concern, I'm constantly worried about the baby' health and I pester Liam daily making him reassure me everything is fine. My nightmares are back full time, and I can't seem to escape them, I'm really not sleeping well at all, I lie awake most nights worrying about the kids and Harry and if I do manage to fall asleep I'm gasping awake covered in sweat from re-living being raped or stabbed. I don't like being alone much either, I'm thankful that Cal is around all the time. I find I'm freaking out at the smallest things and even walking into a room by myself makes me feel uneasy. Harry is noticing and it's making me more nervous. The last thing I want him to think is that I can't deal with what's happened. The guy who stabbed me is in holding in jail waiting for his trial in court. He was denied bail thank god but he isn't talking. Attempts to gain the name and identity of the other male that was also in the room during the home invasion have failed and police are still at square one. Knowing he is still out there creeps me out and I'm forever watching my back.

I come home from work on Monday night completely worn out. I changed at the hospital into my comfy sweats, the weather is getting much colder and as I walk through the kitchen I spot Harry's hoodie over the chair. I grab it and put it on, it's much too big for me but smells just like Harry and I love that. The house is dark as I walk up the stairs, my breathing picks up as I make my way to the kid’s floor. I stand at the top of the stairs taking deep breaths before I walk to their bedrooms to check them and kiss them goodnight. As I continue up the stairs to Harry and my room I stop at the hallway when I see Harry's light on in his office. I walk towards it and push the door open. I see Harry at his desk in his pjs typing away on his computer. He senses my presence and looks up. His smile when he sees me gives me butterflies.

"Hey" I say.

"Hey you" he smiles out.

"How was your shift?" Harry asks leaning back in his chair and opening his arms for me to crawl into.

 "It was ok" I say as I curl up on his lap.

"I missed you" he whispers into my ear.

 "I missed you" I reply.

"Why are you working so late?" I question.

"Just getting some paperwork organised for a client" he says "I will be a while" he adds clearly disappointed.

"Oh that's ok I can wait" I say not wanting to go to bed alone.

"Louis, you’re so tired you haven't been sleeping much, go to bed and I'll be up really soon" he says "your still recovering and baby needs you to be well rested" he adds.

I feel guilty that I haven't been sleeping and providing the best environment for the baby. I'm still having trouble keeping any food down and I'm practically running on nothing. I'm losing more weight but I should be starting to feel better in a few weeks. The guilt gets to me and I just want to cry but I hold it in. I don't want Harry to see me break down. It's hard enough trying to keep my severe morning sickness from him, so he won't worry.