Fate

A/N sorry no update!

TW: I will be mentioning mental health related relapse.

Hey beautiful people, it's Axie. I just wanted to pop into your notifications to say a huge sorry for not updating. In all honesty, I don't even have a chapter ready for you. I have maybe, 1/8th of one, (two paragraphs or so). This makes me extremely disappointed and angry with myself, and really my only excuse is mental health.

Mental health is something I've always struggled with, and recently it has been worse. Possibly, five days ago I relapsed. I have not be more ashamed of myself. I had managed to build quite a large amount of time that I had not hurt myself in any way, but in that moment all those days faded away. 

My mental stability isn't great right now. A close friend of mine talked behind my back, causing me to delve into myself further. And the fact I have been wanting to write this newest chapter is making me even more stressed. 

I suffer from anxiety tics. Outside of education and outside life, they're not too bad. But now that my country is back in places of work and education, they're beginning to get worse again. This only means that the tics are frequent, worse and at times louder. I do experience vocal tics, but more often they're in the neck, back, arms, face and hands. These movements and sounds brings attention to me, something I'm not a huge fan of. This platform of mine has been somewhere where I can finally shine a light on myself, on focus on myself and my work and gift it to people like you reading this. But my private life is somewhere where I can be private.

My book is my light, in times of darkness I jump onto my laptop and write out a good 2k+ words. But recently I haven't been able to find that light. This for me is so painful. All I want is for you to read my words and hopefully be a happier person in itself. And yes, I realize this book isn't the happiest of stories, but it has its' moments. 

So, I've decided to come onto here right now to explain why you haven't received an update. I try to get at least one chapter in the space of 10 days, and I know tomorrow is the 10th day of no updates. I don't know when I will be able to get my ideas down, but just know I'm working on it.

I love you so very much, and I just want to say my DMs are always open. 24/7. I will always read what you will say eventually. And I hope I can be here to help.

I hope you are all okay and well.

I love you,

Axie <3