The Life of Things

The Hairbrush

It's fun torturing girls in the morning. They wake up with a rats nest on their head and I'm the only one they can turn to. And knot after knot they cringe as I rip through their hair. I love being a hairbrush.

I am very useful. Unless you want people running away from you because of the state of your hair, you need me.

I have a hobby. I like to call it hair collecting. Whenever I am run through a head a grab as many hairs as I can and keep them tied up with all the others. But then just when my collection is beginning to become big, the stupid humans take them all and throw them away! In the garbage!

So I start all over again.

The girls love me and they hate me.

They love me because I'm always there when they need me. Unless I'm not and they can't find me. I take away all the badness in their hair. Well maybe not ALL the badness. I can't take out gum or sticky things. Or peanut butter. What I mean if I get rid of all their tangles. I help them straighten up their hair.

But they hate me because of the way I tease them. When there is a tie of hair on their head and there in a rush is quite an enjoyment. They rip me through hoping it will make it less painful when it makes it the most painful it could be. Ow ow ow! Hahaha!

They also hate me because I give them split ends. I break the hair that they used me to brush so that they have to get it cut.

Sometimes I feel evil.

And I love it.