Bringing Back Hallie

Bringing Back Hallie: Chapter Twenty-Two

A/N--Guys, words honestly cannot say how sorry I am about the length of time it took me to write this chapter.  It's kind of pathetic, honestly.  So I'm sorry!  Anyways, this is probably one of the last chapters of this story.  There will probably be one last chapter after this and then an epilogue :)  

So anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and leave me comments, even if they're telling me how awful I am cause I took so long!

I'm sitting on my window seat later that night, a blanket fallen but still covering my toes and Darko curled up on my chest. Tears are trickling down my cheeks and my stomach feels horribly sunken as I watch Ethan throw the last of his bags into the back of his truck.  

He's leaving. 

I know that one of my dad's rules was that if we broke up Ethan had to leave the house; that he didn't want to be around that kind of awkwardness. But in the midst of all of the drama today, not once did it hit me that Ethan would actually leave. I guess there had been this last glimmering hope that he'd realize how stupid he was to think that I'd actually cheat on him, that he'd realize I'd never do such a thing.  

But now, as I watch him climb into the front of his truck and put the key in the ignition, I realize that that hope was completely pointless. He's done with me. He's so done with me. And it's made so obvious when he peels out of the driveway and speeds away into the night without even once looking back at this house.  

Ethan's gone. 

I'm not going to see him every morning as I pour myself a bowl of cheerios nor am I going to be able to sneak away into his room just to make out a little bit. I'm not going to be able to give him sly smiles across the bowl of mashed potatoes at dinner and I'm not going to be able to feel his fingers on my waist. He won't be there when I've had a bad day and I won't be able to comfort him when he's had one. 

It's all over. 

All the smiles, the laughs, the kisses. 

They're no more. 

And that simple realization knocks a hollowness into my heart that I know will be here to stay. 

I sniffle into the quietness of my room, feeling so utterly awful that I just don't know how to handle it. I'd go to sleep, curl up under the covers and try to escape into the simplicity of dreams, but I know that sleep's not going to be a very easy thing for me to accomplish. Not with all of these thoughts running through my head. 

I could always do the cliché thing and watch awful comedy movies and overload myself on chocolate and ice cream, but girls only do that when they have friends. I don't really have those anymore. I haven't talked to Jeanie in ages, Jesse was never truly my friend, and Fred well...Fred's been blowing up my phone for hours but those texts and calls are never going to be returned.  

And I know that I have Darla and my parents right down stairs, but I can't help but feel like they're going to be mad at me for this whole thing. My parents loved having Ethan here, I know they did. My dad loved having another man in the house and my mom loved having another willing hand to help out around the house since Darla and I never really do. And now, because of me...he's gone. 

If I'd just pushed or shoved Fred away, if I'd screamed at him and told him to get the hell off of me, none of this would have happened. Ethan and I would have still been so happy together and my parents would have had their polite little helping hand. 

But now he's gone and it's all my fault. 

There's a knock on my door just then, a cautious rapping of knuckles against wood. I don't really want to see anyone, I kind of just want to sink into my covers and emerge only for food and the toilet, but I'm not going to turn anyone away. I can't. Not when I don't have anyone else.