I Do?

Fourth Wall

The door slams behind Louis as he leaves the apartment. As soon as the door shuts, a bag of rocks seems to weigh on Harry's shoulders, dragging him to the floor. The marble is cold on Harry's skin, but he doesn't care. None of it matters anymore. All of this was for nothing. 

Everything that's happened over the course of the last two months was for nothing. Harry could've been living his life like he was, content and comfortably. Louis came and destroyed it. He destroyed all of it and Harry figured that, at the end of it all, at least there would be a purpose behind it. Louis would be able to stay in America and get his visa switched from a vacation to a student one. But no. The tornado that was Louis blew through Harry's town, destroying everything, for no reason. 

Harry lays across his floor as the tears and choked sobs escape him. The weight of the world feeling like an inescapable burden as he does. He would give everything to go back to being the naive version of himself. Before Louis, before the questioning, before it all. 

"Alexa, play my 'Numb' playlist on Spotify," Harry says loudly. 

Silence fills the room for a moment before the machine responds, "Okay. Playing 'Numb' on Spotify."

The silence is replaced by a slow ballad. Harry forces a breath in and then out, trying to get himself to calm down. "Alexa, louder," He says, in an attempt to drown out the thoughts that race through his head. If the music pounds, a thought won't be able to escape, he decides. 

He lays there for a couple of minutes, enjoying the thundering piano and vocals of the song. All the thoughts in his head are slowly replaced by blissful emptiness as the last tear escapes from his emerald eyes. 

"Alexa, off," A voice says. Suddenly, the music cuts and loud silence fills the kitchen and living room. Harry sits up from the floor and sees Niall standing in the hallway near his bedroom door. 

"Can you turn the music down? I have a test in the morning," Niall explains tiredly. Harry wipes his eyes, embarrassed for Niall to see him like this. 

"You can go to the library," Harry replies as he takes his position back on the floor. "I'm listening to my music as loud as I want. Alexa, play "Numb" on Spotify." 

The music starts up again but only gets a few beats in before Niall's voice cuts through. "Alexa, off." 

Harry sits up again, not expecting Niall to still be standing in the doorway. "I live here too and I have a test tomorrow. You can put in headphones and play your stupid music in your room," Niall replies. 

Momentarily, Harry's taken aback by what Niall says. Surely, Niall isn't talking to him like that. Since when did Niall decide when and where Harry can listen to his own music in his own apartment?

"I've had a shitty day. If I want to play my sad music while I lay on the kitchen floor and cry, that's my business," Harry says loudly, his decision final. 

Sure that that is the end of the discussion, Harry lays back down. As soon as he does, however, he hears loud footsteps making their way to him. Quickly, Harry stands. He watches in disbelief as Niall rips the cord from the wall and gathers the device in his hands. 

"I don't give a shit what kind of fucking day you've had. You're more than fucking welcome to take your music and listen to it in your bedroom," Niall shouts, turning his back on Harry. 

"What the fuck is your problem," Harry shouts back. 

Niall stops. "You wanna know what my fucking problem is," Niall says, his back still turned to Harry. 

"Yeah, I'd love to know where the fuck this attitude is coming from." 

All at once, Niall turns around. Harry notices how blood-shot Niall's eyes are as the device slips from his grasp. The skin under Niall's eyes has gone a darker shade of purple and a couple of blemishes have spread across Niall's usually clear, pale skin. 

"Let's see. Maybe I have an attitude because you treat me like shit half the time, Harry? Maybe I have an attitude because I'm sick of it. Haven't thought about that before, have you? Ever since Louis got here it's gotten worse," Niall screams. 

Harry didn't expect Niall to say anything, but he's even more shocked at what his friend says. "When I have treated you like shit Niall? I've treated you like I always have!" 

"How about the lack of respect for my time or me in general? Let's think back, shall we? How about the time when you and Louis were here blasting some shitty ass movie in the living room. I came out and asked you guys to turn it down some because I had a test and instead of just being nice, you just fucking sat there and laughed as Louis mocked me. Or--or we could think about the time when you promised me you'd go with me to a 'pairs' Halloween party that I talked to you about weeks in advance only for you to make a last-minute plan with Louis. I couldn't even go to the fucking party, Harry! They wouldn't fucking let me in and I still had to pick your ass up because you got so wasted you couldn't even fucking walk," Niall screams through a laugh. 

A pained smile paints its way across Niall's face as the last word slips from his lips. Harry doesn't know what to say or where to even start, but Niall has it covered as he continues. 

"Or, we could talk about me finding out that I'm not even my dad's son and my mom cheated on him and never told either of us. And since I'm not technically a Horan anymore my dad doesn't think I should get any Horan money so I'm basically broke now and can barely afford food half the time. I bet you haven't even noticed I haven't paid my half of the rent this month yet. I've been trying to scramble together scholarships on top of all of my exams the last month to try and figure out how I'm even going to pay for my tuition next semester. Did you know how hard it is to find scholarships when you're not good at anything? It's really hard to do, in case you were wondering! So I have to get all my grades up in the hopes of getting an academic scholarship so I don't end up having to drop out and live on the streets or something."

Harry's head swirls with the new information Niall's unloaded onto him. He can't begin to comprehend any of what Niall's told him. "I didn't know any of that was happening or I would've helped you," Harry starts. 

"But you didn't. You never once asked me how I was doing, did you? You treat me like some sort of side character in your life, Harry. You act like my only fucking purpose is to serve and aid you in your storyline. Well, it's not. I have my own life, with my own shit going on." 

The two stare at each other for a moment. A deranged expression rests on Niall's face as stares into Harry. Harry doesn't know where to start or what to do, but exhaustion weighs heavy on him. Niall doesn't wait much longer as he starts towards the door. 

Without a word, he leaves the apartment, slamming the door on the way out. 

~_~_~

Hey guys. The tension is brewing. Leave your thoughts on the comments lol