I Do?

A for Effort

Harry gives himself a week to think over what Louis said. They've spent enough time apart for Harry to know that he could get over him if he tried, but what happened at Louis' apartment has altered things for him. Louis wants him... or at least thinks he's interesting. Does Harry feel the same way? Does Harry want to risk everything for it?

Hot steam from the drink sitting in front of him helps keep Harry calm. The chocolate beverage has become one of his favorites recently, thanks to Taylor. Christmas came and went with Harry spending it mostly by himself. Taylor said she wouldn't mind spending it with Harry, but he insisted that she spend the holiday with her other friends.

It was the first Christmas Harry spent alone. He didn't mind it as much as he thought he would. Obviously, no family dinner invites, probably not for a while. Besides, the last way he wanted to spend Christmas was with his family. It was for the best, he decides, that he spent it alone. He binged some Christmas movies and ordered take-out from his favorite place to eat. Overall, it was a nice evening.

He considered messaging Louis and asking him to come over, but he hadn't made his mind up yet. Harry didn't want to risk giving Louis a sense of hope without having made his choice.

"Aren't you supposed to be at your parent's," A voice asks. Harry looks up from his mug to see Niall standing in the doorway to the living room. He looks tired but healthier than the last time he's seen him. Harry figures that the conclusion of the school year has been good for him.

"Didn't get the invite," Harry murmurs. Truth be told, Harry wasn't sure where Niall went for the holiday, but it's nice to not be alone in the apartment. He doesn't know how to act around his former best friend anymore. A part of him wants to be over this fight they're having, and another understands why Niall might want his space.

"Guess that makes two of us," Niall sighs as he walks into the kitchen and grabs a mug for himself. Harry watches as Niall ruffles through the drawer of K-cups before selecting one. After loading it, he turns back to Harry.

"How're you doing," Harry questions. He hopes that Niall can hear the sincerity in his voice. Since their last conversation, Harry's been trying to come off as more sincere around him. Harry understands now how he may have come off as otherwise in the past and he doesn't want Niall to feel that way again.

"I'm doing good, thank you for asking. My mom and... dad are in counseling. He still doesn't want a lot to do with me right now, but he texted me 'Merry Christmas', so I think he's starting to come around."

Harry can't help but laugh, "My dad didn't even do that." He sees a smile peek across Niall's face, but it disappears almost as quickly as it came.

"Guess we're both kinda fucked, huh," Niall sighs.

"What about school? Did you manage to get the scholarships you need," Harry questions. He remembers Niall explaining the severity of it all. Suddenly, he feels ashamed for not checking in on it sooner. If nothing else, Harry knows that he has enough in his account to pay for Niall's semester. Niall accepting the offer is another thing entirely.

"I managed to get enough together to pay for the semester, I think. My mom's been getting me some money too. I'm probably gonna try to get a job with the school next semester though. That'll be a first," Niall says as he takes his full mug from under the Keurig machine.

Silently, they sit, both sipping from their drinks. It's nice to talk to his friend again. Maybe things won't necessarily be the same, but maybe that's for the better anyway.

"How're you?"

The question catches Harry off-guard as Niall hesitantly slides into the seat across from him. He doesn't know how to answer the question.

After a moment, Harry replies, "There's a lot going on. Kinda stressed." Niall gives him an understanding nod as he takes another sip from his drink.

"How's Louis? I haven't seen him around here lately?"

"He explained everything to me, why he stayed. He wants to make it work, but I'm not sure if I want to. It would be a lot... to admit to, I guess," Harry huffs. He takes a sip from his drink to try and distract Niall from what he says.

"Well, I think that you'll be able to figure it out when you're meant to. It's not a bad thing, Harry."

It's easy for him to say. He's tired of everyone telling him that it's not a bad thing to be what Louis wants him to be. His entire life he's been told that it's bad and the worst thing someone could be. Logically, he knows that it's not. Logically, he knows that nobody can control who they like, not really. He just never thought he would have to apply that logic to himself.

"I just don't think that I know what... this is, I guess. There're so many questions that I don't know the answer to," Harry says.

"You don't have to know the answer. If you know you like Louis, then try it out. See what happens. If you figure it out, then you figure it out. Just try to get out of your head and have fun. I have to go do some stuff, but... this was a good talk," Niall replies as he stands. They both look at each other for a moment before Niall turns back towards his room.

Maybe he's right. Maybe Harry doesn't have to have it all figured out right now. Maybe he doesn't have to admit anything after all except that he wants to give it a go, which he does. He misses Louis.

HarrySTheBest

I want to try 

~_~_~

Hey guys! Remember how I said there were 5 chapters left? Yeah, so I managed to fit it in 2. Some of the chapters I had were fillers that I just don't think are necessary to the plot. Anyway, both chapters are written and ready to be published. Kinda crazy. Anyway, I'll save the sappy stuff for the very end. The second to last chapter will be published on Saturday and the very last chapter of I Do? will be posted on Monday! Thanks for reading!