what's happening

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trigger warning

A dreamy scene, the sun shining bright above me, blinding my eyes

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A dreamy scene, the sun shining bright above me, blinding my eyes. I was lying down, face up the skies, my back against the soft grass. I lifted my hands in an attempt to cover the sun from my eyes.

Small hands held my hand and a small boy smiled down at me, blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes that reminded me of Archer's.

He laughingly pulled me up and I let myself be. As I sat up, he ran, laughing without any care in the world. And then he ran further, briefly stopping to look back to me and he started waving his hand. My heart beat faster.

"Come back here!" I screamed and tried to chase him, but he kept going.





I haven't even opened my eyes and my head was already spinning. My whole body felt heavy and I felt like I had no strength at all.

It absolutely didn't help that when I opened my eyes, Archer was not beside me. I've been so emotional and I've been needing him so much more. Although we promised to contact each other frequently, in a way we both knew that that was a wishful thinking.

The attack at the port seemed much worse than what had been initially reported so he stayed there for a whole week before they left for Jessica's mate's pack.

Really, I tried my best not to think too much of him because I was going to end up missing him even more, but that didn't work. It's probably also the mate bond, but these past few days I've been really needing him and it even made me cry.

I hated the vulnerability.

The best way to forget was to bury myself in work and that helped because I had a lot to do anyways. Training both juniors and female adult warriors proved to be the hardest because I often sparred with them and because I've been under the weather for far too long now, I found myself on the ground most of the time.

Thankfully, my students were understanding.

Today, however, I'm feeling especially worse.

Today, something feels especially wrong.

I feel like I'm missing something. I feel like I'm forgetting something and I just don't know what. I feel my heart wrenching and I woke up with tears in my eyes from the physical pain that I was feeling but it wasn't just that.

I remembered that I noticed a feint scent around the pack since a few days ago, but whenever I asked anyone else, they always responded that they couldn't notice it so it's probably just me.

There's something wrong, I just don't know what it is and I can't stop the tears from falling.

I tried to think and remember or even try to figure out what it is that's making me feel this way.

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