jamuul love story

jegulus break-up (finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (with background siricycle (2nd otp!!))

reglust has had enoughh. his bf, jams ptter, doesn't love him. he never really did. all he did was juul and masturbate.

reglus was sittint in his dorm, listening to fight or flight by conan gray. "my eyes r welling up as u admit theres sumone new" suddenly his bf burst in "ur turn to baby--- why r u listening to this I thought u liked taylor swift" reg sobbed "bc u dont love me." 

 "yeh no shit emo"

 " i need 2 break up with yiu. i cant do this anymore"

 "cool beans dudez" jams gave him a thumbs up "u don't care???! i thought you wouldve been...more upsetq..." " well actually i was going to break up with you so i can marry my juul"

 "jimmy its a fuckinf inanimte object"

 "yeah and?"

 " thats not legal" 

 " gay marriage wasnt legal until like 2015"

 "r u comparing ur horniness to actual oppression"

 jams sniffl ed. "this is why i never loved u!! Ur always putting me down" reg let out another sob. "get out!! get out of my dorn juul-fucker! i don't know why i ever loved you !"

 jimmy johns huffd "fine!"

 ~~

jams fell onto his bed and sighed. the baby was somewhere crying, but that didn't matter. he just needed his juul. He loved his juul

 "hey fuckhead heard my brother dumped you? bout time" sirius said, their voice ringing through the dorm "what, you poutint? thought you loved ur juul" "i do shut up assfart"

 "dickballs"

 "shitfucker"

sirius laid next to him. "moony dumped me too"

 "y??"

 "caught me having sex with my motorcycle"

 "he just doesnt understand u. sometimes you love something that isnt a person"

 " bro... " siri said, his lips parted in awe. "i think...i think i wanna kiss you.." jams pushed him back and they fell on their back

 "no! i wont cheat on my juul!!"

 " it was a joke, bro. "

jimmy sighed. he clutched the juul up to his chest. "sure." he rolled his eyes. sirius sighed "ur a dickbag" 

siri got up, probably to have sex with their motorcycle. "stupid siri and his motorcycle." jams thought. "think they're cuter than me and juul. we'll show 'em!"

a/n: When I first wrote this, I honestly never thought it would end up like this. If there's any break-up songs that miss swifty made just assume I don't know them because I live under a rock and all I have under this rock is my hp books and conan gray. Sad, I know. When I cared enough to listen to Taylor Swift, I was too busy denying I liked women. The only piece of media I have consumed that miss swift has made is atyd. Do not question me.