jamuul love story

yrots sdrawkcab / end of it all

a/ n: the first half of this story is written backwards. if you want to attempt to decode it, i want to give a trigger warning of child abuse. While it's not explicit, it's still there.

.tghil tghirb a saw ees dlouc yeht gniht ylno eht .thgil dna yzoow tlef deah 'suiris

.niks tsniaga slian eht ,sesruc eht lla .meht ot neppah elbirroh eht lla tel eh

.boj 'suiris syawla saw taht .htarw srehtom rieht tahw evresed t'ndid suluger .noos agrublaw morf yawa raf eb dluow rehtorb rieht depoh suiris

.yppah ton saw agrublaw .pleh teg ot gninnur erofeb emit tsal eno suiris ta kcab gnikool ,reh morf yawa deirrucs eh .eerf suluger tel ot reh dekcik suiris

.dessih ehs".yob erehw gniog ton er'uoy" .reh sdrawot kcab mih dellup dna trihs 'suluger fo ralloc eht debbarg ehs .siht gniwolla ton saw agrublaw .kniht ot emit hcum evah t'ndid eh tub

.liated artxe na tsuj saw suiris ,rieh reh saw suluger .detnaw ehs ohw saw eh .agrublaw htiw dniheb suiris evael t'ndluoc eh .gnilbis sih ta dekool suluger

 "!nac uoy elihw ereh fo tuo teg".mih no pirg htaed reh depacse suluger .nwod reh dellup dna taoc srehtom reiht otno debbarg suiris

".nevigrof eb tonnac did uoy tahw"

".yrros mi pots esaelp rehtom"

?

The world felt like it was in a haze. A buzzing in the back of Sirius' mind was like an ambience to their sleep. He couldn't find the need to wake up. The world he was living in was better than the one he'd wake up to, they wouldn't be able to do the things they wanted to do there.

In the dream .world, Sirius didn't fuck up. Sirius memorized Remus' smile as an imprint on his cheek. Something more sweet than tense. Sirius dreamt of hugging Jaems, their brother, as a way of knowing they were home. Sirius would hold Regulus in his arms, protecting their brother from all the hatred they were raised with.

In the dream world, Sirius didn't hate theirself for still loving his mother after all the things that happened. He accepted that it'd come off with time. Sirius would be able to call Effie Mom and Fleamont Dad without feeling as though the words were out of place. Sirius didn't resent everyone because they simply took a moment out of Sirius and Jaems' time together.

In the dream world, Sirius actually didn't mind Jaems and his weird relationship with the juul he stuck up his ass. They accepted it as apart of their life and Jaems'.

In the dream world, Sirius didn't feel like a jackass that everyone only spent time with because they felt sorry for him. 

The dream world only lasted for a few days.

?

They awoke in the middle of the night, expecting to be in the shitty bed mother left for him. Instead, it was in a hospital bed. Strange. It wasn't like the infirmary at Hogwarts, and the room felt even more cramp, if it was possible.

Sirius suddenly realized there was someone laying on him. Oh. They pat what was assumingly the person's head, and felt familiar messy hair. He almost cried.

They were home again.

The person stirred awake and seemed to look at Sirius dead in the eyes. Oh. It was Sirius', well one of Sirius', favorite people. He felt an overwhelming amount of love in their heart and instinctively went to give the boy a hug.

 "Jaems!" Sirius practically jumped at him. They heard a soft laugh come from his brother and smiled. It was that familiar laugh that made them know.

Suddenly, he was pushed away. Sirius almost whimpered like a dog. "Relax, Padfoot, I need to get my glasses on." This made them relax. Jaems stumbled over to, presumably, get his glasses. And then turn on a bright light.

Oh.

Lamp.

In the light, he could see the messy hair in its full glory, not just under the soft dim of the waning moon. Jaems Potter, the fool who stuck a juul up his ass. And one of Sirius' brothers.

And because Jaems was their brother, he knew the boy like the back of his hand. So they needed to know, "What happened to your juul?" 

 Jaems looked away from Sirius for a moment. "Well -- When Regulus came to tell us about what happened, he said you were in danger. And that -- that you could --" Jaems stopped to wipe a year from his eyes. "-- die. And I didn't want that to happen so me and dad and mum came there as quick as possible. We grabbed you and ran."

 " You...you didn't get your juul?"

 "You're more important than some piece of metal, Sirius. Maybe the juul was important to me, but you're even more important. You're my family."

Sirius pulled Jaems towards him and held their brother, crying like a baby. They both were. 

After all the tears ran dry and all the laughs faded away, they fell asleep in the hug. Even if this life wouldn't be perfect, this moment was. And Sirius was okay with that.