My Accidental Marriage a Liam Payne fanfiction

My Accidental Marriage Part 4

Okay Liam old chap, keep yourself together, do your best not to strangle Harry, explain everything to Simon if he's here and try not to stare at Sara too much during the whole gammut, and you'll be fine.  Hopefully.  Oh, fuck it, what am I telling myself this for?  The guys already know I'm an emotional wreck no thanks to Styles, why do I bother trying to tell myself these things?  Bloody hell, Liam, grow up and face the music, you're not as tough as many of the fans think you are, you do have a soft side too, dumbass, admit it!  Just admit it to yourself, you've just met Sara and already you're falling for her!  Play it cool, boy, play it cool, just don't let anyone read your mind.  You're the one the fans consider the leader of the group, right?  Right?

I gulped hard - though silently - and looked at Sara.  God, could she look any more beautiful?  I couldn't help but crack a weak smile and then rapped on Louis' door.  All I could think about was what was up for me and my reputation next.  Not an easy thing to do, because I also had to think about Sara's reputation as well, and she hadn't been in London for very long.  Finally the door opened with one shirtless Louis greeting us both, and he wasn't the only one.  In fact, the only ones wearing tops (other than Sara and I) were Eleanor - or as we all called her, Ellie - and Simon Cowell.  He was there.  It was confirmed. More than likely to bash the tounge off of Harry no doubt, but probably to give me a brain bashing as well.  Or not.  I wouldn't know until we spoke to each other, and which one of us would speak first would depend on Simon's mood.  In any case, if I was due for a brain bashing, I was ready for it.  A case of "here goes nothing."  I entered the door to exchange pleasantries with the guys and Ellie, waiting for Simon's first words to me.

Louis: Liam, m'lad, glad you're finally sober enough to make it here!

Liam: Thanks to Niall, he brought my Hummer to the hotel I was at.  Ellie, nice to see you again!  You're looking great.  Simon. (nods head)

Simon: So here you are.  I see you're not wearing your wedding ring, is there some sort of point behind that?  Oh I see your wife is with you.  You probably already know who I am, so there's no need for me to introduce myself.  And you are?

Sara: Sara O'Keefe - ugh, sorry, I'm used to refering to myself as that.  After what happened last night it's kind of hard -

Simon: No need to worry on that.  Stuff like this happens to lots of people.  Now, let's get on with it, shall we?  Liam, seems you and Sara have a little problem that could snowball if it gets into the media.  Don't have your rings on though.

Liam: No, we decided to keep them off until we got your verdict.  Seeing you know about it all from Blabbermouth Styles here, that is.

Harry: Hey!  I am NOT a blabbermouth!

Niall: Oh, please Harry, you couldn't keep a secret to save your life!  You never fuckin' could!

Harry: Kiss my ass, Horan.

Niall: You kiss mine, Styles, you're the one who caused this mess to begin with, if you hadn't blabbed to Simon, Liam wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!  You're the one who kept making sure that his bourbons were double last night!

Liam: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?  Did Niall say that right Harry?  Honesty here now Harry, I want honesty, DID YOU DO THAT?

Harry: Well, yeah.  But you can usually hold your liquor really well, Lee, I was sure you would -

Liam: You oaf!  You know that out of all of us Zayn holds his liquor the best!

Louis: And barfs it up just as much. (laughs)

Zayn: Hey!  Who had the horrible hangover this morning, me or Liam?  I don't recall it being me.

Simon: Okay, okay, enough you guys, that's enough.  Any case, there is bad news.

Liam: Fuck, it's reached the media, hasn't it?

Simon: People magazine.  They want to know if the rumor is true and if so, any details we can share.  What I want to know is, how do you want to go about this.  The news is out so concealing the ring is out of the question now.

Liam: You're right.  Okay, um, I got it, I did it to help Sara get her green card so she could stay in the UK.  We met on Facebook, and used Skype on the site to communicate.  I flew her out here myself.  My family didn't know I was going to do this...because I never mentioned that I had Sara as a new friend on the site and there wasn't enough time to tell them.  We may not stay married, just long enough for her to get the green card.  We don't plan on allimony, and there is a post nup, not a pre nup.  How's that for info to send to the mags?

Simon: Liam, when your brain gets working straight it smokes.  It's perfect.  In the meantime, you're gonna have to wear that ring and Sara, you wear yours.  Until the thirty days are up, you're Mrs. Sara Payne now, got it?

Sara: *sigh* Got it.  I can tell you one thing, this isn't going to be easy.

Simon: Life never is.  Oh, another thing, Sara where do you live?

Sara: Just in a hotel suite for now, why?

Simon: As of today, you have to move in with Liam.  Got to keep the media satisfied, right?

Bloody lovely.  I've got trouble enough looking at her, how am I going to control the hormones now?

Just then, a knock came on the door.  Actually, three different ones.  And feminine giggles on the other side.  Was Louis expecting company without my knowledge?

Louis: I'll get that!  I know who those voices are.

Niall: I bloody well hope so!!

Louis: Coming! (opens door) Ah, girls, so glad you could make it!  Please, sit down!

Girls: Thanks Louie!

Liam: Um, Louie, you mind?

Louis: Oh yeah.  Liam, this is Jan, she goes out with Harry, and this is Alexis, or as we call her Lexie, she's Niall's new gal, and finally this is -

Sara: Billie?

Billie: Sara?  What are you doing here?

Sara: I'd like to ask you the same.

Billie: I'm Zayn's new girlfriend.  We've been dating for a month, met the night he and his ex broke up.  What about you, cuz?

Guys: Cuz?

Liam: Sara, you have to tell her if you're related, she'll find out through the media anyway.

Sara: You're right.  Billie, I'm Liam's new wife.  There I said it.  Truth is out.  I did it.

Billie: So YOU'RE the woman in the photo that Harry sent Jan!  It was hard to tell, the pic was kinda blurry, not the best shot.  Looked like it was taken by some guy who was hammered.

Liam: Harry!

Harry:  Oops.  Lee, you know how I get when I'm three sheets to the wind, I don't remember every little thing I do, you know that!

I wanted to choke Harry to the point where he passed out, so he could come to and I could do it again.  Over and over.  I wanted to do everything I possibly could to the rat bastard.  If Louis had kept his Indiana Jones whip I could've used that on his bare ass, but he ditched it after Halloween, or so he claims.  I wanted to make Harry dance by firing a gun at his feet, but I'd probably end up with someone from Scotland Yard after me for that.  And now Sara's cousin Billie knew about our little secret that we didn't want out except Louis invited her and a couple of other girls over for a bit -

And then it hit me.  Zayn was dating a new gal named Billie.  Billie was Sara's cousin.  My wife's cousin.  Billie was my wife's cousin!

Oh, fuck, I've got an in-law dating my bandmate and best friend!  Fuck it all to hell!