warm you up

4

I was surprised that he came here, but what for? He won't apologize for sure.

I hoped he realized something about what I had been trying to make him notice.

"Hi Hawks... I'm.." his voice wasn't grudging this time, but he seemed to be stressed. He bit his lip then sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you with my words, I've gone too far"

I was completely shocked. Did he really admit that he was too harsh?

I saw in his beautiful blue eyes, that he was sorry. I saw it for the first time in my life, there hadn't been any another occasion when he hadn't hid his emotions. It made my eyes a little bit teary.

"Come in" I was still mad at him, but I wanted to fix this, so I invited him in my home, where we could have a private conversation. "I still have hard feelings, but I'll let you explain" I said as I was walking to the living room, then laid down on the couch.

He sat not too far from me, but still kept the distance. I was trying to figure out what was going on in his head, although it was almost incredible. He had built his poker face so well in the past, I won't be able to suddenly solve every mystery.

"You.. you came too close to me" he looked me in the eyes. His were telling me, that he was dealing with a lot of things.

"Yep I know, I shouldn't have cuddled you in my sleep that day, but you did teach me a lesson for that, when you pushed me off the bed" I shook my head.

"That's not what I mean, that was the beginning" he leaned his back to the sofa, closed his eyes to focus more on thinking. I tried to figure out the hidden meanings like a I'd do in a crossword, but I couldn't find anything. "I think it's better for you if I stay out of your life" his words had heavy weight, I stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to decide what to say.

"You don't want someone to be by your side?" eventually I asked this, so he could realize what I want from him.

"That's not the case" his tone was trenchant, but not grumpy this time.

"Well, then tell me what is it"

I wanted to know what was he thinking about, which made him look a bit guilty. The fake semblance of him being completely emotionless was fading.

"It's not that easy" he turned his head to the other direction, to avoid eyecontact.

So he thinks I won't get it, or what?

"Am I too dumb to understand?" I moved a little bit closer to him still respecting his personal space, I knew he don't like that when someone is too close.

Maybe I'll change it.

"What? No.. It's not easy to tell" he still found more interesting the wall than facing me, but I didn't blame him.

He is that type of person, who never talks about their feelings. In fact, almost everybody thinks that he has no emotions at all, exept anger and power-seeking.

"Okay..." I let out a sigh, tried to conceal my feelings, which was getting more and more passionate in every second, especially when he decided to turn back. My heart was racing as our eyes met.  

This thing's going to kill me one day!

"So.. You don't want me around cuz that's better for me in your opinion" He nodded, I rolled my eyes, then a grin appeared on my face. "Well, that's your problem old man, I won't leave you alone because I don't want to"

"I knew you won't cooperate" he rolled his eyes more spectacularly than me. "You're not mad at me now?"

How could I be angry with you when I have these feelings which are stronger than any other?

"Mm, not that much" I got up from the sofa, then went to the kitchen, but instead of walking next to the counter, I flew over it. "Are you thirsty?"

He shook his head and I could tell he was busy with his own mind. I hoped he's thinking about me.

I poured out water to a glass, and then sat on the furniture which seperated the kitchen from the living room. I was drinking way too slow, I felt he was staring at me, so I spreaded my wings carefully not to pull anything off the counter.

"Why do you always have to be this extra?" he changed his position, now he was sitting with straight back. He literally took up the half of my couch.

"I like attention" I shrugged my shoulders, took one more sip.

Especially his attention, but it was not the right time to flirt.

"I've noticed that" he wasn't that gruffy, which gave me a weird feeling, I wasn't used to this.

Maybe he really wants me to forgive him, although it won't be easy to get  those crass words out of my mind.

He was clearly trying to figure out what to and what not to say now, as I closed my eyes to be fully focused on my thoughts and being handsome of course, I still wanted to attract him... What did he mean by not being in my life? He don't want to work with me, or did he intend to send me a sign that he don't like me back?

Because certainly he doesn't. Or does he? I'm confused.

I opened my eyes which met those blue irises instantly.

"Enji-san" I couldn't keep quiet, I wanted to know what's going on. I was surprised he didn't yell at me because I said his first name. "Why do you think my life would be better without you?"

"Hawks, you're half my age!" he sighed stressfully. He got wrathful again, I could see his anger in his eyes, but what for?

"Yeah, and?" I stayed the calmest I could. "We can't meet cuz your older than me? I'm not a child, don't treat me like this"

"You don't understand me" he shook his head, after that he started to walk towards the front door, he won't escape this conversation just like that.

This man is really getting on my nerves sometimes!

I stood between him and the exit, looking up to see his face.

"Then make me!" I blushed after I heard how it sounded out loud, this time I didn't do it on purpose.

"Just accept it Hawks, this is nonsensical" he simply passed by me and opened the door, it was my time to get grumpy.

"What 'this'?" I asked him louder than usual.

"You are in love with me, right?" his sentence sounded like he didn't care about my feeling for him, he didn't even face me, but this wasn't that bad because my face was the color as my wings and my breath stopped for a while.

"Um.. y-yeah" I stammered, I suppose he didn't even hear it.

"Nevermind, It's better for us to stay away" these were his last words before he left and closed the door after himself.

I wanted to go after him, but it would have been worthless anyway. I still didn't know anything about his feelings, there was only one thing I was considered about and it broke my heart again.

He doesn't want me.

No matter why, but he simply doesn't.

hi!
i'm so thankful for the comments on the previous chapter, i hope you guys liked this one too!
if you did, please leave a comment or vote, it means so so much to me <3
the next chapter will be uploaded in a week !!