warm you up

5

Almost a whole week passed since he had said those confusing things which caused me a lot of  headache. We haven't met in that period of time, I didn't know what was going on with him. I was stressed, but I tried to keep it to myself, so anyone who looked at me saw the regular, laid-back Hawks. On the inside, it wasn't the ordinary version of me, it was a more worried one, who was getting desperate.

I took a look at my secret diary, which was kept in my office among other books. I sighed when I saw the next appointment that was moving closer with every step and every wing flutter I made, every breath I take and every blink of my eyes. 

I don't want this. I have never wanted.

Anyways, I was expecting Enji. A message was sent by him when I was busy with paperwork, it said that he wants to stop by my agency, but it's probably just some business stuff.

Oh God, he knows I love him and he is coming here. I will have to look at him knowing that he knows what I feel. Why did I even tell him? Stupid hoe, Hawks!

I tried to stay calm and breath in slowly and deeply. I went to the bathroom quickly then washed my face with slightly cold water, it helped a bit. I mean I was everything but not calm, although I needed to be, but seeing myself in the mirror after the light touch of the liquid on my skin did made me to be able to release a bit stress. I tried not to overthink everything, but I failed as usual, I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing at that time and if he was thinking about me too. I was almost a hundred percent sure that he didn't. 

Maybe I should keep the required distance between us, I don't think he'll want me..

My mind's journey had come to its end when I heard a loud yell from my office.

"Hawks! Have you gone to hell or what?" based on his voice, his mood was not as bright as a rainbow with unicorns around it. I responded with a sigh.

"Oh yeah, I was on my way but you interrupted" I was trying hard not to gaze him for too long time, but he looked hot as fuck as always, damn it. Our eyes met, his sharp glance made me feel like I was read, if he was aware of what was going on.

"Well you knew I'll show up" he shrugged those wide shoulders of his, and then sat on one of the chairs, I did the same as him but behind my desk. I intentionally didn't go near him, avoiding eye contact and kindness this time. He had told me that it's better for us to stay away, so I let him be happy and myself suffer.

"Yeah.. what brought you here?" I wasn't flirty this time nor excited, I was just... too quiet compared to the normal Hawks. I wasn't even looking at him.

"I haven't seen you in a while so I thought I'll visit you" I couldn't keep my face straight, I was astonished by what I heard. No excuses, no business stuff..

He just came here to see me? After what he had said? That's weird and confusing as well.

"You're lying or I'm dreaming" I let out a sigh, and eventually turned my head to the direction where he had been sitting.

"Neither" he replied in an impassive tone. "Something happened, you seem to be off-the-mood"

"So you noticed.. I don't know, you told me to fuck off and then suddenly showed up after not speaking for a week" I held the poker face, as I was not suffering and hid the misery I felt.

He sighed. His face wasn't telling me his feelings, but I could see everything in his eyes when he looked up. The first thing which caught my attention was confusion, then a little bit of shame.

"I... Hawks, it's not easy" a few quiet words which made me lose it.

"Don'tcha say! It's just as hard for me as it's for you!" I raised my voice with a bit of temper, it made him surprised or at least his face showed that.

"Sure... Can't we just... let it go away?" my mind was absolutely chaotic because of his words, I didn't know anything and I had enough of it.

"Yeah, it probably is a worthless thing, let it just go away sure" my sentence was filled with irony. "Enji, what the fuck do you want?" I knew I was disrespectful but I didn't care.

"I fucking want you you idiot, that's why I came here!" he shouted at me, I wasn't even blinking in my amazement.

He do love me? He really loves me back? What's the matter then?

"Then why are you still not kissing me?" I smirked and got up. As I was approaching him, I thought about a few things.

If he really wants me, the only thing that stops him is what the others will think... Well, it's understandable for some reasons, but we could keep it a secret...

"Don't make me regret this, come here" he didn't oppose!

I had the largest smile on my face ever when I sat on his lap, as I did that, I maintained the eyecontact and bit my lips. I recognized what was written is his blue eyes, it was the same feeling as me. We wanted each other so much, it had been suppressed for too long. His large hands finally touched my hip, after a slow smoothing they grabbed me and pulled to that muscular chest of his. I had been waiting to experience this for too long to waste any time when I could do it. I closed my eyes and leaned closer, but he was the one who initiated our very first kiss, which was a pleasure to our souls. The touch of his lips was soft for a moment, and then everything became so passionate. I ran my fingers through his red hair as our tounges were playing with the other. I felt like I'd just gained my membership to heaven, I was free to expose my feelings towards him in that kiss. My wings were shaking a bit in excitement when he slid his hand under my shirt. I sighed and that was the moment when he decided to lean back a bit.

"You're pretty good at this, big guy" I whispered then opened my eyes, petting his hair. I knew I'll see him more often after that, I could see that in those beautiful eyes. I cuddled against him, my face was so close to his neck. "I want you to know that I'll be here for you, no matter what" I told him that, because I felt like this is what he needs to hear from someone who cares about him and it was true tho.

"Thanks Keigo" it sounded so much kinder than ever, I was delighted that he used my first name and not my hero name. I gave him a warm smile, and then he suddenly kissed me one more time, it was a bit more gentle at first, but it turned to be filled with strong affections. He was smoothing my side under my shirt, which made me sigh a few times, but I know I had to keep my mind clear and not let out any voice. "Damn I didn't know this will be this good" I smiled at him again, his statement proved that he had been thinking about us. "What is this smile for?" he was looking at my yellow eyes, I carresed his cheek.

"I'm so happy"

I really was. I was the happiest man alive at that moment, for sure.

hey there !! i hope y'all enjoyed this part, i'll be updating in a week again, after this part recieves votes. i'll have to go back to school for a month after a looong period of online learning, i don't know how it'll affect me buuut i'll try my best to go on with the story!