"I'm in love with you."
Those words escaped my lips before I could even think about what to say. The dark room that surrounds us somehow became darker and quieter as seconds pass by without you responding.
I let my teeth sink into my bottom lip as I turned my head to find you staring at me, slack-jawed. The dim lights could barely illuminate your face, but I can tell you were caught off-guard. I suddenly felt guilty for being the cause of that for some reason, but I instantly recovered my confidence.
I've already said it, anyway, so might as well barrel on.
"I'm sorry. That was random," I quickly apologized, sitting up and leaning my back against the headboard. "But it's true. I am in love with you, and I don't know if you feel the same way but I just wanted to be honest with you 'cause you're somehow my friend now and friends are honest with each other —"
"Perrie, breathe," you finally said, cutting me off as you sat up straight against the headboard as well, facing me.
I didn't have the guts to look you in the eyes so I looked straight ahead on the black screen of the television situated in front of us. But no matter how hard I try to ignore your intense gaze, I just simply can't.
"Yeah . . . ," you finally replied, and I felt your supple fingers intertwine with my own. "That was random, Perrie. And at two in the morning right after we —"
"Yeah, I know, sorry."
"Weren't you the one who made the rule about not having feelings for each other or something?"
I grunted, "Ironic, isn't it?"
I heard you chuckle and squeeze my hand gently, and I felt comforted for a moment because at least one of us is trying to lighten things up.
"Very ironic." You paused for a few seconds, and when I felt that I needed to fill in the gaps of silence in our conversation, you finally spoke up, "Since when?"
Since when?
It wasn't until you said those words that I finally realized that that was the question I dreaded the most.
Because I don't know since when exactly, Jade.
Since the day you decided to sleep over for the first time when you always leave immediately afterwards? Since the day you left your suitcase full of pajamas in my closet because you figured we'd see each other more anyway? Since the day you decided to spend the next morning with me?
Since the day you acted like you're my girlfriend?
There were too many potential answers to that specific question, but I opted for the safest one.
"I don't know." I shrugged, acting nonchalant about this whole thing.
But little do you know, Jade, that in my head, the whole world is upside down and I feel sick to the stomach for some unknown reason. In my head, I'm conjuring up some scenarios wherein you rejected me, and I'll be one of those sappy lovelorn girls that cry their eyeballs out every single day.
Your next words surprised me, though.
"Maybe I should take you out on a date."
I whipped my head and peered at your chocolate brown eyes for the first time. Did I hear that correctly? Did you honestly say that? Those questions were answered by your expectant, hopeful gaze.
"Wh-what?" I stammered a bit, confused and shocked at the same time because this time, I was the one caught off-guard.
You sat up straighter, looking more determined than I've ever seen, looking more beautiful than I've ever seen, looking more you than I've ever seen. You reached out to my other hand, pulling me closer to you until our faces are practically inches away. My breath hitched at the unexpected action.
