Un-Kingly Rule

Chapter 6: The Lesbian One

There it is. Spring 2016 I got my just desserts. Charlie ripped my heart out and served it to me on a platter. Haley started to grow distant from me as well, and so...this next part in my life was very hard. I had never dealt with the type of emotional damage that I just did. I had used and mistreated everyone who came into my life and I couldn't take being the one on the receiving end. I started to drink. I stopped sleeping. I stopped eating. I stopped going to class. I stopped caring about anything that had to do with remotely anything. I tried for years to get Charlie back. Literal fucking years, and it was pathetic. I became so dependent on alcohol that when I did go to class, I was drinking. When I played basketball with my roommates, I was drinking. When my roommates were drinking, I was drinking twice as much as them. If a hand was free, I was drinking. Haley and I occasionally had sex. That stopped too though because she knew that I was just using her, and I didn't even care. I was just trying to kill time when I wasn't trying to kill myself.

The semester ended and I went running home to my mother, but there was no comfort waiting for me there. That year I ran into Marie again. And true to our nature around one another, we had sex a lot. We'd go to motel rooms where she could cheat on her boyfriend and I would forget about Charlie. We stopped meeting up when I went back to school though and it was probably because I left that nothing else happened between us. Summer 2016 was when Damien and his now wife Aaliyah decided that enough was enough. They were going to break me from my depression the only way they knew how. 

With a challenge. 

Oh man, I was in no state of mind for the type of challenges that a ten year younger me would have jumped at. Still, I went along with it. Like I said, Haley and I weren't talking as much anymore and so I needed someone new to take her place.

Enter Juliet.

This is a girl that I should have met either before Lena, or before Charlie. Definitely not after both. Juliet was a self-proclaimed lesbian who didn't date men. However, the truth was that she's actually Bi. She just knew that in the gay community admitting your Bi is looked down upon. (I don't know how true that is, but she was adamant that it is.) Anyway, Damien and Aaliyah believed that Juliet, with her witty sarcasm, her gorgeous looks, and the fact that she was a red head which is like one of my kryptonite, that she would be a good match for me. So, I did what I did best. I belittled her in ways that kept her coming back for more. I engaged with her in ways that made her think she was smarter than I was. I let her think she was in control. 

We know she wasn't.

When I met her, the smile on her face was instantaneous. For a lesbian, she sure was eager to meet me. It was the first time I saw her in person. Sure, I had seen her on Instagram, but those pictures are never the real person. In her pictures she looked like Scar Jo. Nice, full lips. Slim body with nice assets. Beautiful. And she was smart, not as smart as she thought she was, but smarter than I expected. It turned out that Juliet was Annette's friend. If you remember Annette was my play thing. At least to me she was. In Annette's mind, we were in love. We were not. She felt uncomfortable with the idea that her friend and her one-time love were getting close. Never mind that Annette cheated on me back in high school and, again, I never gave her any reason to believe that we were anything more than master and servant. That first meeting between Juliet and me though, we kissed. And then she ran away. She fled because she felt guilty that her dear friend Annette was hurting at the idea that she would get to experience the full ride. Not just some kiddie coaster. I told Annette off. In front of her husband. As usual, I was bitter and angry. This time was different though. I wasn't bitter and angry because I was running from some childhood trauma and I was taking it out on the world. 

No. I was bitter and angry because I wanted to forget Charlie and move on with my life and Annette had the nerve to stand in my way. More so, she was making it seem like we shared this amazing romance. I had to remind her that we didn't. That it was a decade ago, and that even if it wasn't, the moment she cheated on me, she lost all rights to interfere with my life. I left. Not wanting to look at her anymore. On my walk home, I messaged Juliet on Instagram. I told her how I wanted to see her again. How it didn't matter what Annette said because fuck her that's why. Funny enough, Juliet had asked Aaliyah for my snapchat and she messaged me on there...the complete opposite of what I wrote.