Dusk [sequel to Aurora] - HS AU

Chapter 2

You keep your space, but all this pain
You say you go away, still hit my lane though
You hurt so bad when you went away

Song: Cold, by Post Malone

***

FIJI

2020, March 6th, Friday | 2 a.m

Aster's P.O.V.:

"Yo, man! This can't be real! Did you see the fucking pool? Damn!"

Rickie walks around the Airbnb house Harry booked for our stay here in Fiji. We just landed, around one hour ago, in the Nadi airport, and there was already a car waiting to bring us here.

I really can't say how much I love and admire Harry for that - he managed to arrange everything for our arrival in only 4 days. I have no idea when he did everything, and it breaks my heart to inexplicable amounts to see how excited he was about our trip. It's crystal clear how he tried to make everything about it special, in an attempt to make such hard travel become lighter and more enjoyable.

And now, he couldn't even come with me.

I mean, don't get me wrong - I love Rickie. He has been trying to keep in a good mood ever since we departed from New York. I would've probably cried my eyes out the entire flight if it wasn't for him practically bending over backwards just to make me smile. Of course the problem is not him.

The problem is that I'm exhausted.

Not for flying over 17 hours and somehow managing to squeeze 24 hours in 16 due to the time difference between New York and Fiji, although this is something exhaustive by itself.

What has been really sucking the energy out of me, is the fact life seems not to give me and Harry a break. For months now, it has been problem, after problem, after problem, and I'm honestly so tired of that. Harry and I are together for less than 5 months, but we haven't had a single day free of concerns, we haven't had the chance to act like a normal couple for a change. We're always worrying about something - S&L, EJ, my father, his father, my sister.

The only moment of peace we had was in December when Harry took us to Iceland for a week, and it was the most magical, amazing week of my entire life. I was hoping to have the same kind of escape here in Fiji, even though we came here to search for my sister, I still had high hopes about it.

Not to mention the reason why Harry is not here - I still haven't wrapped my mind around Desmond's sickness. It still feels too unreal, he was OK only a week ago! How can a cancer develop and grow that many in someone's brain, but keep hidden for so long? To only be discovered when it's too late to be treated?

This is something that terrifies me - it doesn't have a treatment. Desmond is one of the owners of the biggest pharmaceutical industry in the USA, he is the guardian of some pharmacological miracles that are still hidden from ordinary people and still, he is going to die victim of a barely treatable, but incurable cancer. The irony doesn't escape me.

I guess both Harry and I grew up under the false impression that we would have the medical cure for any disease in the world, because both our fathers taught us we were invincible. Maybe that's why it is so hard for me to wrap my mind around what's happening to Desmond.

I can only imagine how hard it is for Harry.

More than once, I changed my idea about coming to Fiji during the flight. I bawled my eyes out and had a minor anxiety attack from how desperate I was about going back to New York. Coming here was a mistake, leaving Harry behind was a mistake. What kind of person am I, to leave him all alone to deal with what was virtually his father's death sentence?