Dusk [sequel to Aurora] - HS AU

Chapter 19

I let you pin me against the wall again
Stuck in your grip on my chest
The only pain is when I breathe
As you sink your claws into me
Don't you worry
Don't you worry
It only hurts me when I breathe

Song: the singularity, by ghostmane

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2020, August 1st, Saturday | 6 pm

Aster's P.O.V:

With everything that has been happening lately and the fucking mess our life is right now, it feels counter-intuitive to be so damn happy.

There's a lot going on, I won't lie. S&L's contracts are still under analysis, so we don't know for sure if we're going to be able to cancel the last update, Desmond's health is worse every day, and even though Anne is doing her best to hide it, it's obvious how exhausted she is, and how much she wishes she could go back to England.

I've offered, on more than one occasion, to take her place staying with Des so she can go back to her life in the UK, but she denied it flatly. I think part of her feels a little guilty for leaving him the way she did, all those years ago, and that's why she's still around now, but I can't say for sure.

I also think she wants to be around, for Harry.

He only had one minor anxiety attack over the last week, since I proposed to him. Though it wasn't one of the bad ones, I still feel my heart constricting in my heart every time I think about it. We were in bed about to fall asleep when it happened, he jolted from the soft mattress with his breathing rugged and cold sweat running down his temples.

I held him, as tight as I could, whispering comforting words while my heart raced almost as fast as his, and after a while he calmed down and fell asleep almost immediately, suddenly exhausted, but I stood up until the sun was rising in the sky, wide awake and too afraid of falling asleep and not being there for him if he needed me.

All things considered, he is in better shape than he was ever since we came back from Fiji. He even gained a little weight, some of his muscles making an appearance now that I've convinced him to practice yoga with me every morning before he leaves for the hospital, before going to S&L.

When I'm not worrying about Harry or trying to think of alternatives to win back some of the power at S&L, I'm Face Timing with my sister and Eve; over the last month, their relationship with E.J is slowly tightening. Of course, there's still some serious trust issues, but even though Maddie is still having a hard time to forgive him about the whole kidnapping ordeal, she decided not to tell Eve about it, so she would have a real chance of developing a connection with her father.

They're taking baby steps, but for what they told me, Elliot is a total teddy bear when it comes to Eve, and they getting along so well, Eve is starting to consider the possibility of coming to visit me in New York when Elliot comes back here, which is something Maddie is still not even the least happy about.

It's not that risky, I think. Phillip doesn't even know Eve exists, and if she comes here under Elliot's protection, plus mine and Harry's, I don't think she would be at risk. Damn it, I don't even think Maddie would be at risk, but that's a battle I'm tired of fighting.

Speaking of battles, Penelope and baby Erin are still living with Rickie, and I'm hating it.

Of course, it's better that they're living there than at Harry's apartment, but damn it, I miss Rickie. We got so close over the past year, he's one of my closest friends nowadays, but with Penelope and a baby he's just so busy all the time.