Not Her

12. Unsure ...

A plate slammed in front of Khusi's eyes on the table, as she scrolled through Google, trying to look for the best orphanages in Bangalore. Her eyes snapped up at Renuka's pissed off face, before she strode away.

"Do you have to be so rude?" Dipankar was pissed at his wife's behaviour towards his daughter, but Khusi was least bothered about her mother.

"Can you blame me? Neighbours has been whispering whatever is coming in their head, about her. Saying there is some fault in her or she might have done something, now that she is here for the last 3 weeks." Khusi rolled her eyes at her mother's words, digging into her food.

"I didn't know that I needed to inform the neighbours before coming back to my father's house." She was pissed off at the society aunties and her relatives. After they came to know, from God knew which source, that Khusi was back and had been staying at her father's place for a long time, suspicion rose in their head. They didn't leave a single chance to annoy Renuka or her, calling every other day.

"I asked you to visit once. Not appear unannounced and stay here permanently!" Frustrations churned Renuka's stomach, the reason of her rage not entirely Khusi, but the whispers.

"Enough Renuka! You have said enough. Not one more word." Dipankar had enough of Renuka's verbal abuse. How dare she behaved with their daughter like that!?

Renuka passed the father daughter duo a hostile look, before striding away.

Khusi shook her head, but didn't bother much about her mother's behaviour. She didn't need to explain anything to anyone. It was her choice.

Dipanka sat down beside her with a tired sigh, and brushed her head, Khusi smiled softly at her father for supporting her.

"Don't take her words to your heart. She is just worried about your future."

Khusi snorted at her father's words. Her skin was too tough to let her mother's words punture it. It wasn't just her future Renuka was worried about. It was also their reputation.

After hesitaing for a minute, Dipankar decided to ask her the question, which had been bothering him from a long time.

"Shona, are you serious about your decision? It's a matter of lifetime, you realise that right?"

Khusi passed her father a small smile. "Yes Baba. This is what I have always wished for, to adopt a child. I don't want to get pregnant and carry a child for 10 months. It takes a lot to do that and I don't want to."

Understanding flashed on Dipankar's face. He was a bit sad that he might not ever get to see a grandchild from his bloodline, but it was absurd for him to ask his daughter to do something like about it. She didn't owe him that.

Khusi's phone vibrated in her palm and Bhaskar's name flashed on the screen. A scowl appeared on her face before she declined the call.

The day she declared she never wanted a child, out and loud, Khusi and Bhaskar had a huge fight, which went on for hours. One minute Bhaskar was calmly listening to her, hearing out her points, the other, he was yelling his heart out, calling her selfish.

It was her body in the end. Of course she had to be selfish.

"How did this idea even come to your head?" he asked, lightly punching the wall.

Khusi threw her hands up in the air and huffed, "I had been very clear since the day we slept for the first time, Bhaskar. I never wanted a child of my own."

"I thought you meant for the time being!'

"It isn't my fault that you misunderstood my words!" Khusi was enraged at Bhaskar's demands.

When the yellings didn't work out, Bhaskar tired to manipulate her emotionally.

"Khusi please, don't you want to know how will a piece of you look, in human form. Trust me, it will all be worth it in the end ... "

But she wasn't having his bullshit. When her in laws showed up that very week, at their apartment, unannounced, she knew it wasn't just a coincidence. Bhaskar surely would had informed that.

Her doubts got cleared the minute Keya and Animesh Goswami sat at the lunch table that day.

"Why don't you wanna conceive Khusi? It's the most memorable experience of a woman's life. You should feel blessed that you've been given the strength to carry a child inside you."

Khusi glared at Bhaskar for involving his parents into their internal matters. It should be their choice, not his parents'.

"I just don't want to. There's a lot of problems a woman need to face alone during pregnancy ..."

Keya Goswami feigned a soft chuckle at her worries. "Don't worry Khusi. We all will be there to support and help you whenever you need. We will share your problems. You don't have to face anything alone." There was a hint of compassion in Keya's words but Khusi didn't let her words get her.

"You can't, honestly ... can you share my nausea and morning sicknesses, back aches, mood swings, bloating, discomfort ... "

"Okay okay. We might not share those issues, but we will try our best to create the atmosphere and treat you with utmost care during pregnancy Khusi. Please don't rebuff this. Me and Animesh had always wanted atleast a single grandchild."

"I am sorry, but I can't do this. I won't change my decision for making someone else happy. And if that sound rude or selfish, then so be it."

Khusi hadn't bothered about anything else that day and had taken the first flight back to her hometown. If Bhaskar and his parents couldn't respect her single decision, she would not be respecting their wishes too.

Khusi was still deep in her thoughts, when the doorbell rang and her head snapped towards their main door.

Renuka grumbled lowly about no one helping her in chores, and strode to open the door.

"Bhaskar?"

*******

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