The Beauty of Winter. (Fanfic)

21

You're running through a field, the sun beaming down on you, lighting up the flowers that surrounded. Spinning and dancing as birds chirped in the distance, a gentle breeze blowing through your hair. You hear Bucky calling out your name, looking around for him but he's nowhere to be seen. You panic as his calls become more and more distressed, like he's in pain. His screams are deathaning, the sound of birds frantically flying away is the only other sound you notice, the wind grew heavier, blowing your hair in your face as you continued to look for Bucky. The sky turned grey, all the light washing away as the rain began to pour. As you turned, you jumped slightly, seeing Bucky stood right infront of you all of a sudden. He is motionless, emotionless as well as he looks down at you. "Are you okay?" You place a hand on his chest, closing your eyes. You gasp as his pain shoots through your body, feeling your feet lift off the ground. You open your eyes to Bucky's hand around your throat, his void eyes fixated on you. "Bucky, stop... you're hurting me!" You gasp for air, smacking at his arm. He chucks you to the ground, walking away like nothing had happened. You bring yourself back to your feet, looking down to the trees where he had walked away too. You shout his name, begging him to stay. "Please Buck, I miss you!"

You're shaken awake, looking up to see Steve. As you sit up, you realise you had fallen asleep on the couch again. "Another nightmare?" He sat down next to you, looking at his hands.
"We need to find him Steve, HYDRA spent almost eighty years messing with his head, we can't let them do that again." You feel the tears welling in your eyes, Steve pulls you into a hug.
"We'll find him y/n, I promise."

"Any eyes on him yet?" You sit in a small cafe, reading a book as you look out for Bucky.
"Not yet, sit tight." Steve was up on a rooftop, looking through the crowd.
"Hey Sam, can redwing pick anything up?" You look across the crowd, seeing Sam sat with a coffee.
"Nothing yet, wait actually, I think I have something." You feel your breath catch as you grow tense, waiting for Steve's instructions.
"I have eyes on him, y/n I need you to get up and walk into the building on your left." You do as he said, seeing Bucky out the corner of your eye as you walked, finding it so hard not to go to him, but you knew Hydra had gone deeper this time, one wrong move and it could be another eight months before you saw him again. You knew you were being followed as you entered; ignoring it and heading to the roof as Steve gave you more instructions.

You sat down, your legs crossed underneath you, looking up at the sky, hearing the rusty door squeak as it opened. You didnt look over though, just waiting. You felt a gun press to the back of your head, now you turn,standing up to meet Bucky's gaze.
"Y/n." You're eyes grow wide, you feel a wave of relief that he remembers you, until... "daughter of Odin, disappointment and coward. Not Loki, no... at least he had the guylts to stay." The words were like venom, spat in your face. "Destined to forever be alone, because who could love an afraid little girl with daddy issues?" You grab the end of the gun, pressing it to your head,
"You could, you did. No you do! This isn't you. And if it is, then okay, shoot me! Because you know what? You're right! I'm a coward, a disappointment, unlovable!" You shout, fighting back the tears, telling yourself that this wasn't your Bucky, the Bucky who stayed up at night, making sure you were alright after a nightmare. The Bucky who danced with you under the stars at night. You held your eyes shut, waiting, but nothing happens. You look at Bucky, his hand shaking slightly. Your Bucky was fighting to break through to you. He was fighting so damn hard and you could tell. But it wasn't worth the risk, you watched as Steve came up behind him, knocking him out with his shield.
"Y/n, i-" you kneel down beside Bucky, brushing his hair away from his face and kissing his forehead.
"It's okay, let's get him back before he wakes up."

You sit reading a book outside of Buckys cell, not wanting to leave his side again. "What book is that?" You look up to see Loki walking over to you,
"One I nabbed from Tony." You move your legs over to make room for Loki to sit.
"Steve told me about what he said... you aren't a coward y/n, you did the hardest thing imaginable for us." You place your head on his shoulder, looking at Bucky as he stirred in his sleep. "He didn't mean it, I've seen how he looks at you y/n, you're his world." You sigh,
"I know."

"Y/n!" You wake up, sweating and gasping for air, checking around you for any vines or leaves. You look over at Bucky, his face riddles with concern. His shouting had woken you up. You had spent days now, sat with him, but the only things he had said were insulting and not like him.
"What now? Are you going to call me weak? Scared? Or a coward again?" You finally snap, the stress taking over.
"No, I was going to ask if you were okay." You look up at him, his eyes were genuin. "Seeing you that way, trapped in your mind like I was, it got me out. I needed to help you." You sit on the floor by the cell, placing your hand on the glass, he did the same, you gaze in to his eyes, seeing nothing but him, no clouds shadowing his mind anymore, no closed doors, just him.