The Beauty of Winter. (Fanfic)

28

"Y/n, just open the door. Bruce needs to give you a check-up." You're lay on your bedroom floor, arms spread wide across the cold ground. Turning your headphones up all the way to block out Nat as well as your thoughts. Sniffling back the tears as you gazed at your ceiling. The curtains were pulled shut, the darkness consuming you. "I'll leave your food out here then..." You continue to ignore Nat as she walks away, failing to reach you once again.

When night fell, you pull your curtains open, letting the moon light flood your room, the stars shining brighter, welcoming you to join them for another sleepless night. You make your way over to the shelf, grabbing a record, placing the vinyl on the record player. The low hum began before it started playing yours and Bucky's song aloud, you closed your eyes. The moment you did, you saw him.

Bucky stood infront of you, reaching out, pulling you close to him. You smiled, "It's been a while," biting your lip as you wrapped your arms around him, placing your head on his shoulder. The room around you faded, illuminating as you danced, Bucky spinning you out. You watched as an elegant crimson dress fell down around your feet, swaying in unison with you. When you spun back in to him; Bucky was wearing a tux, his tie matching your dress perfectly. You felt the weight lift off your heart as Bucky smiled at you. Dipping you down as the song came to a close.

You opened your eyes, back in your room, the record player had stopped, the vinyl disk continued to spin. Somehow, you still saw him every single time you closed your eyes. And each time felt just as real as the last, it wasnt that you were fooled by this, it was that you wanted him to be there so badly that it crushed you more each time he wasn't.

It had been months since anyone had seen you more than your back just as you turned into your room, hiding yourself away once more. So it came as a shock to Pietro when he found you scaling the counter tops in the kitchen, reaching for the mug that sat high up in the cupboards. Ypu finally got a hold of the mug, straining your arm, sending a wave of pain, rippling out through your wound, the stitches pulling apart, causing you to drop the mug. It crashed to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces. Pietro watched as you tightened your jaw, trying to stop your shaking lip as tears brimmed in your eyes. You slid down off the shelf, kneeling on the ground behind the island in the center of the room, picking up the fragments.

"No no no..." you whisper, frantically trying to piece it back together, failing miserably. You threw the pieces on to the floor, unable to hold back the tears anymore.
"Hey, shhhhh it's okay y/n-" you look up at Pietro, his eyes filled with concern. You stand up, pushing his chest, shouting at him;
"It's not okay! How could it be okay! They're gone, they are all gone!" You continue to hit his chest, sobs wracking your entire body as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly agains his chest as you slowly moved back down to the ground. Pietro simply held you, letting you free all of the emotions you had been holding on to for weeks now.

"What happened in here?" Nat walked in, seeing Pietro sat on the floor, her eyes falling on you, passed out in his arms as she made her way around. The shattered mug spread across the floor.
"Y/n, oh my god, what happened?" She knelt down beside you, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, seeing your tear-stained cheeks. She looked up at Pietro and he simply placed a finger to his lips, shushing her, whispering to, "go get Bruce."

When you woke up, you were lay on the table in Bruce's lab, the lights shone brightly, it took a moment for your eyes to adjust. You pushed yourself up, wincing at the pain in your abdomen, noticing the fresh bandages that had been applied. You sat up, crossing your legs underneath yourself, ducking your head into your hands; throbbing intensely. You didn't know if your headache was product of the lack of: food, water, sleep or from crying, you did know it hurt like hell though.

"Bet you didn't see that coming..." your voice is rough as you look up at Pietro. A small smile spreading across his face.
"Hey how are you feeling?" He sat down next to you as you placed your head back in your hands,
"Like I should have just stayed in my room." You sigh, feeling his hand, warm against your skin as he rubbed your back gently.
"Y/n... we are all worried about you, you've barely eaten since, you know..." You look up at him, your eyes dark; swiftly hopping off the table before storming back to your room.

Pietro speeds infront of you, blocking your doorway, "You can't just stay in here till there's nothing left of you." You try to move him, failing miserably,
"There is nothing left of me!" You rub the bridge of your nose before meeting his gaze; "I don't have anything. Loki is dead, Bucky might as well be and Thor... well he chose a stupid fishing town!" You turn on your heels, walking to the elevator, angrily pressing at the button, Pietro following behind you.
"Please y/n," you bite your lip, holding back a new wave of tears and a whole load of anger that Pietro certainly didn't deserve.
"I swear to god Pietro if you don't just leave me alone-" you stop, your eyes growing wide as the elevator doors open; Steve stood with Tony in a wheelchair.
"Oh, don't stop on our account, what are you going to do to him if he doesnt leave you alone?" You roll your eyes at Tony, exchanging places with him and Steve, entering the elevator. They watched you as you pressed the button inside,
"Witty as ever Stark." The doors shut, separating you from everyone else once more.