Deafening - Shikamaru Nara

15

Everyday seemed to go on like that day spent with Shikamaru on the roof. We would do our own things in the day, then meet on the rooftop at night. We didn't always fall asleep, but I loved when we did. My week flew by, just as Tsunade had asked me. Shikamaru really tricked me, he had kept me home all week as he promised. But I can't say I was upset at him for it.

On day seven, Lady Tsunade was tired of hearing me complain and agreed that I had rested well enough for me to do as I please. I resumed training immediately that morning, to shake some rust off. I was a bit slower than usual, which frustrated me, but I'm sure I'll be back to normal speed in no time.

After I had warmed up, I finally continue learning to master my chakra control. My goal is to see Hibiki before the sun goes down, so I have plenty of time. After about an hour of practicing, I head to his home.

Eventually I reach my destination. I take a deep breath to try and calm my mind, and knock on the heavy wooden door.

"Come in!" I hear a voice call. I push open the door, making sure to shut it behind me.

"Rei! It's been a while, I was beginning to think your forgot about your assignment," the old man says.

I chuckle nervously. "No sir. I was injured and Lady Tsunade ordered me to rest for a week. But I've mastered the first page like you asked."

"Perfect! Let's see it then," he says, gesturing to a plate hanging on a rack to dry near a window. I gulp nervously, maybe I should've practiced a bit more before coming.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, but before I could do anything, Hibiki stops me.

"You haven't mastered it yet," he scolds.

My cheeks turn pink from embarrassment. "Y-yes I have!" I stutter. "It's just been a week since I've done any jutsu so I was a bit nervous-"

"-and that's why you've yet to learn, dear!" He exclaims. I blink, confused.

Hibiki sighs. "Kakashi says you're a talented ninja, and I don't doubt you've mastered the skill. Confidence is what you lack!" He says, followed by a short whistle. I flinch as the plate shatters into a million small pieces—way more pieces than when I perform the jutsu.

"Come back later. And next time, never hesitate!" He says with a grin, pushing me out the door. The door closes before I can stutter a weak "yes sir."

I sigh, deeply embarrassed. But he's right, hesitation is my problem. I think too much, and the consequences are getting stabbed in the stomach with a poisoned blade.

—

The next morning, I get to work on practicing my confidence. Hibiki is right, it's harder than I thought. I'm so good at controlling my chakra when I focus, but simply doing it is harder.

I'm practicing inside my apartment for today. Originally I thought this was a splendid idea—I could practice in an environment where I'm scared to mess up in, that way I get better at being uncomfortable. However, this creates inevitable mistakes. My mirror is broken, and I'm nervous the windows will be next. I try not to let it bother me, but when you have to pay for a new mirror, things might get a bit frustrating.

Still, I continue to practice. I walk around like I'm doing nothing then I muster some chakra into my lips and blow, aiming for the glass on my kitchen counter.

It breaks!

"Yes!" I shout excitedly. I was so excited that my outburst accidentally cracks the window.

I groan. "Are you serious?" I mumble to myself.

I sigh, grabbing my broom and beginning to sweep up all the glass shards that lay on my floor. I just feel so frustrated. I want to master this so badly so I can move on to cooler techniques, but it's harder than I thought it'd be.