insanity.

Chapter 23

Haeyoung's POV

By the time I finally opened my eyes, I became aware of the fact that I was in a hospital. What I didn't understand was why I was lying in a hospital bed and not Jungkook.

I sat up abruptly the second his name crossed my mind but was met with arms holding me back from going anywhere. I glanced over to see Namjoon was holding me down, a weak smile on his face. I threw my arms around him after a moment.

"I'm so sorry, Namjoon. This is all my fault—"

"Stop it," Namjoon quietly shushed me, rubbing my back as I grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt. I buried my face in his chest. "I'm just glad you're safe."

We stayed like that for a few minutes before he released me and settled for holding my hand. I knew he could see the question I wanted to ask lingering behind my eyes but he was avoiding answering and I was too scared to ask.

Just as I opened my mouth to speak the door to my room opened and Taehyung and Jin practically ran into the room, both of them rushing to my side. Taehyung grabbed both sides of my face.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?! How could you do that to us?!" Taehyung was beginning to cry and I smiled warmly at him and pulled him into my embrace, turning my head to see Jin's eyes brimming with tears as well. I reached out and gently pulled him into my embrace as well.

Another 10 minutes passed before the four of us sat in a slightly awkward silence. They all knew I wanted to know about Jungkook but for some reason they were avoiding just telling me and I was too scared to ask. He had to be alive at least, right?

"Since...nobody seems to want to tell me despite you all clearly having the answer I'll just ask," I finally decided to speak, drawing all three of their heads up to look over at me. "How is he? I know he lost a lot of blood so..."

Taehyung immediately dropped my gaze the second my eyes met his and I couldn't help but frown. I glanced over to look at Jin next but received the same reaction. Lastly, my eyes met Namjoon's, and he heaved a sigh as he realized he would have to be the one to tell me.

"He's been in surgery for the last few hours. We don't know much except the doctors are doing everything they can for him," Namjoon spoke slowly as he studied my face carefully to see how I would react to this new information. "But, you have to prepare yourself for the worst, Haeyoung. You said so yourself that he lost a lot of blood."

I started shaking my head and I heard the beeping of my heart monitor begin to increase. Namjoon reached out to me but I slapped his hand away. "Namjoon you don't understand he needs to live. I've lost way too much already I cannot lose him, too. I can't..."

"Haeyoung—"

"Leave me. Please, I...need to be alone," My voice was shaking as Namjoon heaved a heavy sigh and exchanged a look with Jin. Jin silently reached out and wrapped his arm around Taehyung's shoulders and began leading him out of the room.

Namjoon looked at me for a long moment before he eventually left the room as well, closing the door behind him. The second the door closed a loud sob echoed throughout the room I was in. There was so much I needed to tell him, so much life in him.

He wouldn't give up that easily, right?

There was a knock on the door and it opened before I could tell whoever was on the other side I wanted to be alone. A man in a long white jacket entered the room and I assumed he was my doctor. He wore a bright white smile on his face as he walked to my side.

"It's good to see you're awake, Haeyoung. You haven't sustained any major injuries thankfully. Just malnourished and severely dehydrated," the doctor said as he looked over the clipboard in his hands. I reached up and wiped my cheeks to try and stop my crying but it was useless. He finally seemed to realize I was crying and frowned. "I...assume that you're worried about the gentleman that was brought in with you, right?"

"Do you know anything about the condition he's in?" I asked, hoping maybe he had heard something regarding Jungkook's health.

"I know he just got out of surgery. I can't say anything about his condition for sure but he's...in bad shape to be brutally honest with you. When paramedics arrived he was unresponsive and had lost a lot of blood," the doctor said with a sigh, reaching out and examine the IV bag. "His heart stopped twice while in surgery. But, he's stable for now. Unconscious, and we're unsure when he'll wake up."

I bit the inside of my cheek, interlacing my fingers and dropping my gaze. A silence fell between us for a few seconds before the doctor cleared his throat and left the room.

Why was this happening to me? Would I have to be looking over my shoulder constantly because of Hoseok? I dragged Jungkook through this shit and now he was probably going to die because of me. I couldn't live with that.

I could feel something bubbling in the pit of my stomach, and slowly began to spread throughout my entire body. It was anger, coursing through my veins like wildfire.

I had to get out of here. Hoseok needed to pay. I'd kill him with my own two hands if I had to.

I glanced down at the IV in the back of my hand, knowing if I ripped it out on my own it would hurt like a bitch but it needed to be done. I needed to find Hoseok. I had to do something.

I took in a deep breath as I reached out and grabbed the IV, squeezing my eyes shut as I pulled on it really hard. Of course, the second it was out blood started running down the back of my hand and I reached out to grab a nearby napkin and place it over it.

I eventually was able to get out of bed and determine I was steady enough on my feet to walk. I glanced around the room for my clothes, catching a bag sitting on one of the chairs.

As I made my way over to it, the door opened once again and I turned around to see Jin standing there watching me with wide eyes. "Please don't say anything to them."

He just sighed as he entered the room and closed the door behind him, locking it behind him in case someone tried to come in. He walked over to me, his arms crossed and a worried expression on his face. "Tell me where you're going and what you're about to do."

"I'm going to rip Hoseok's esophagus out and then feed it to him," I answered honestly, crossing my own arms as Jin arched an eyebrow. "I can't just lay here in this hospital knowing Jungkook could die because of him. I have to do something."

"I know, Haeyoung. I'm not here to stop you. I'm here to tell you not to do this alone," Jin sighed as he moved to sit on the couch behind him. He patted the space next to him and I moved to sit beside him. "Don't get yourself killed trying to be a hero. You have people here who love you, a family who won't function without you."

"Jin, Jungkook is here because he came to save me. He knew the consequences of coming to find me and he still did. He's willing to die for me. What good is our relationship if I won't do the same for him?" I sighed, looking down at my hands resting in my lap. "I...I think I might be in love with him. And knowing he might die before I can tell him..."

Jin stayed silent as I balled up my hands into fists. "Hoseok won't hurt me. He still loves me, that's the whole reason he's doing this. All I have to do is make him believe I still love him."

"I won't tell your brothers. But you owe me for this, Kim Haeyoung. This is the biggest secret you've asked me to keep," he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Just...promise me you won't go to prison."

"I won't hurt him. Not physically, anyway."

That's the lie I told him.