insanity.

Chapter 16

It's been 3 days so far.

I had gone to Chinatown with Taehyung twice already, and Times Square with everyone.

I had met Trevor, and he was a pretty nice guy. He was Ava's younger brother and they apparently lived together. He and I had both broken up countless arguments between Jin and Ava.

I was now on the subway with Namjoon, sitting down in the seat in front of him. The subway was crowded, and he had let me sit in the only open seat left.

"What are you thinking about?"

I looked up at him to see he was arching his eyebrow at me. I had that feeling like I was being watched again, but ignored it since we were on a crowded subway. Chances were someone probably was staring at me.

"I'm worried Ava and Jin might never stop fighting," I sighed, and Namjoon chuckled at that. "I mean, you have to know that Ava obviously has a thing for you."

"Ava and I dated a long time ago," Namjoon sighed, and I felt my eyebrows shoot up. "It wasn't anything serious, only 3 months. But she was overbearing and clingy so it didn't work out. Plus, I wasn't the kind of guy to stay in one relationship for too long, you know?"

"Well, that was unexpected," I said, and he laughed lightly. "She's not even your type. She's a fucking airhead."

"Hey, be nice she's still my friend," he reminded me and I just rolled my eyes. "Jin is also an airhead, so what's your point?"

"Yeah but he's an airhead that's exactly your type. Confident, sassy, caring. Ava is literally a bitch."

"Arriving at: Times Square 42nd street."

Namjoon stepped aside to let me stand up as the subway came to a halt. As we got off the subway, I saw a man wearing a black hoodie that hung over his face. My heart began racing in panic, fearing it might be Jungkook.

However, the man looked up slightly, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it wasn't him. Get it together, Haeyoung. You came here to clear your mind, don't let him ruin that for you.

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

I pulled myself from my thoughts to look over at Namjoon. "I asked where you wanted to get food. Koreatown is only a few streets over from here if you don't mind walking. Or, we have all these restaurants within a mile radius."

"I'm starting to get a bit tired from all this greasy American food. I could go for a nice bowl of bibimbap (rice bowl) with some tteokbokki (spicy rice cakes)," I salivated, feeling my stomach growl at the mention of food from home. "Now I feel homesick."

"You wanted to come all the way here so you're stuck here now," Namjoon teased, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we began following the directions of his GPS. "If you want to stop in somewhere, just let me know."

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I now had 2 phones. Since Namjoon didn't want to pay any extra for out of country phone usage, he'd bought us all cheap phones so we can use them while we're here.

Unknown: going to ktown, are we? miss home already?

I stared at the message on my phone, glancing around nervously as I typed up a response.

Me: i dont know who you are. please dont message me again.

"Something wrong?"

Namjoon was taking note of my concerned expression as I quickly shoved the phone back into my pocket. "Taehyung was just messaging me about the current status between Ava and Jin. They haven't fought yet."

Namjoon chuckled softly, glancing down at his GPS. I had that feeling like I was being watched again as I felt my phone vibrate once again.

Unknown: did you really think i would let you come all the way to america so you can forget about me? not a chance, sweetheart.

I stopped in my tracks, which caused Namjoon to stop as well. I immediately began looking around nervously, my heart pounding and my head spinning. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but my gut was telling me Jungkook was way too dangerous to be around.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Namjoon asked, placing his hands on my shoulders as I met his eyes. "You're turning pale, like you've seen a ghost or something."

If I tell Namjoon that I think Jungkook is following us, he'll be on full guard, and the chances of me ever being with him again are slim to none.

However, if I don't tell him, Jungkook might approach me when Namjoon isn't around, and I did not want to be alone with him in his current state.

"Namjoon, I think--"

"E-Excuse me, sir?" An older lady cut my sentence short as she tapped Namjoon's arm lightly. "I seem to have gotten myself terribly lost in this big city. Would you be able to help me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am but I'm actually not from around here," he answered back in English. "Do you have a phone or GPS to help you?"

I tuned out their conversation as I felt a dark presence brush past me from behind. I felt all the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I glanced over at Namjoon. He was too concerned trying to help this old lady, he probably didn't notice anything.

"Kim Haeyoung," a soft and lustful voice whispered into my ear. I went still, holding my breath as I knew exactly who was behind me. "Did you miss me?"

"Jungkook, what the hell are you doing here?" I tried to sound annoyed, but I could hear the shaking in my voice and cursed myself. He chuckled lowly, and I felt his breath tickle my neck.

"You sound afraid," he mumbled, and I felt his hand rest on my hip. I tensed at the contact, trying to ignore my heart yearning to rest my hand over his. "Don't worry, darling, I would never hurt you. But, you seem to have no problem hurting me, do you?"

"Jungkook, I didn't want to hurt you--"

"You knew I needed you," he whispered angrily into my ear. I was trying to figure out how Namjoon was still not noticing any of this. "I was finally beginning to feel...normal. Like I was human, like there wasn't anything wrong with me. I told you you kept me sane, and you just left. You didn't just leave, you left me when I was most vulnerable."

I felt his head rest against my shoulder for a moment as he sighed. "You can't leave me, Haeyoung. I won't let you. I don't care about Hoseok, I need you. What part of that don't you understand? We could run away together, so he'll never find us. I can't lose you."

"Jungkook--"

"Sorry, Haeyoung, that lady was thoroughly confused so I showed her my GPS to help her on her way," Namjoon finally turned to look at me, his smile wide. Did he not see Jungkook? I turned around and saw he was gone, as if he vanished into thin air. "What were you saying before?"

I looked back over at him, then turning to look around to try to catch a glimpse of Jungkook. Finally, I turned back to look at Namjoon, smiling and shaking my head. "Don't worry about it, it's nothing. Come on, I'm starving."

I could tell he didn't believe me, but he didn't press any further as he began to walk again. I turned around one last time and I saw him watching me. I almost didn't recognize him, the emotion gone from his eyes and an almost visible dark cloud surrounded him.

At that moment, I finally realized what had happened, what I had done.

I broke Jeon Jungkook.