The Hijinks War

9. Head Bird Stripped

"S'not funny Chess!"

My protest was met by a snort. Jess stopped poking me, only to drop a cold wet rag on my face. She was on the floor cackling when I sprang out of my bed shrieking.

"Oh My God! That was classic!!"

"What the hell did you do that for?" I glared at her after glancing at the clock. Why was I waking up at noon?

"You told me to make sure you woke up when your alarm went off. You even said I could throw cold water on you."

I flopped back down onto my bed, ignoring her giggles as I processed her words. It took me a minute but I remembered why I'd given my insane roommate permission to wake me up. Groaning, I rubbed my hands over my face and headed to my closet.

"You ready?"

"Uh, no!" I gestured at my clothing.

"No." She smirked at how long it took me to wake up. "I mean, mentally prepared for this evening."

I shrugged then pulled a pair of shorts over my tights. This evening. Fight Night. A non-school-sanctioned sporting event. It had started as a joke the first year of the Hijinks, a running tally of scores of the Academy's martial arts club. The scores from the club events had been added together and calculated at the end of the year to show which army had come out on top. The next year, my freshman year, the joke had turned into an actual tournament—several Fight Nights in which the Academy's club was divided into two teams and fought for the top spot.

I didn't really know what Jess meant. It wasn't like being prepared for a cheerleading event or a performance. It was unfortunately the luck of the draw and whether or not you could take the punches without falling. The most I could hope for, was to be at my best—quickest, hardest, most ruthless—and rested.

Which is why I was waking up from my nap at noon, and going for a jog to both clear my mind and ready my body for the exertion that was to come.

I followed my usual route, jogging along the line of trees that edged the quad and then continued on through the woods that surrounded the Academy's grounds. Running in the woods was a better workout than the track or treadmills in the gym.

It kept me more conditioned, forced me to adapt to my surroundings, made me sharper, quicker. In a way, my quick reaction time was all I had going for me tonight; as the only female fighter, speed and adaptability were key. Especially if I didn't want to be benched for one of those rare head injuries doled out by the heavy hand of a meathead.

As I lost myself in the steady rhythm of running, I went through all my possible opponents in my head. Since we were paired by random draw, I could be facing any of them. While I could handle myself, some of my opponents were simply way bigger than me and packed more strength in their punches. I could always forfeit a match if I needed, but I had too much pride to admit that I was scared of any of the guys.

Ahead of me was a slight crest and then a fairly level plateau that would lead into a slow decline back toward the Academy. As I topped the crest and cleared the trees that edged it, I stopped so suddenly, I almost sent myself lurching forward. I blinked a few times, trying to understand the unfortunate mess in front of me. As my mind processed the scene, I could do only one thing. Laugh.

"Shut up."

And laugh, I did, until I was on my knees and couldn't breathe anymore.

"Shut! Up!"

"Sorry, I just can't stop," I squealed. Catching my breath, I stood and squinted at Kellen in the sun. Tied to a tree, he leaned awkwardly forward to try and hide the lacy thing he'd been forced to wear. I couldn't even imagine how they'd managed to get him in it; as bruised and scraped as he was, the other people probably looked worse. "So, what the hell is happening here?"

He leveled a stare at me. "I'm having an afternoon picnic with the Queen. What does it look like?"

"Looks more like you're tied to a tree wearing your sister's underwear to me. I was wondering how she'd get back at you for the opening prank and dragging her name at lunch."

"Stop wondering and help me! Hadley called hijINKs."

His statement propelled me into action. I don't know why. If I left him there and threatened to let them photograph him for hijINKs, I'd have the upper hand. I should have made him beg more, try and get something out of freeing him, but I just couldn't. I stopped picking at the ropes and stepped back out to the front of the tree.

"Why are you stopping, Private Kemper?"

I grinned and plucked my phone from the zipper pocket in my belt. His eyes widened with understanding. "No! Seriously Nat, No!"

I smiled innocently as he squirmed in a panic, and snapped a picture, replacing my phone as I slowly returned to my task. I fully realized then that Kellen was standing inches away from me, with pretty much nothing on, and only a tree trunk blocking his bare butt. I mean, I was pretty sure that given Katia's sadistic ways, the back of that small lacy underwear that I thankfully hadn't looked too long or closely at, would be a thong. Heat rushed to my face and I tried to will it away.

His words made it easier. "You wanted something to look at later, huh?"

"Ugh! More like, I wanted an insurance policy," I clarified; I was done being the Nicole the Trifecta knew. I was going to get my way, and if I had to exploit the Hellhounds' pranks and Kellen himself, I would do it. "Besides, I can probably sell that picture. I mean, I don't really care about the subject matter." I lied offhandedly; I'd likely have dreams about his abs later that night. I shook the thought from my head, I needed to focus on Fight Night. "But I'm sure there are a ton of freaks who'd like to get their hands on it!" 

When I'd released the last bit of rope from his wrists, I held his hands in place, despite his obvious rush to get moving. I'd already seen more of Kellen than I wanted to in the past five minutes. I really, really didn't want to see any more. Technically there wasn't much more left to see, but I still didn't want to see it. I'd never be able to look at him again without either laughing or blushing. "Wait a second," I commanded.

"Seriously?" He huffed impatiently. "HijINKs could be here any second with their cameras!"

"Seriously, you want to run back into campus like that?" I kicked off the shorts I wore over my tights and handed them around the tree.

"You know these say Victoria's Secret, right?"