8: I love you

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After we finished defeating the knights that came from Audrey we had a mini celebration and everyone started cheering and becoming friends before they came to and distance themselves. "Told you E" i said grabbing the gum out of her pocket and popping one in my mouth.

"Guys, come on this was so great. We were a team we worked together come on." she said trying to hold Mal's hand but Mal shook her hand away. "I'll hold your hand" i said grabbing her hand and she looked at me smiling before squeezing it. "You know what we should try? An icebreaker. You say something you really like about the other person, okay?" E said smiling at everyone and everyone looked the other way.

"Okay I'll start." i said stepping forward and looking at everyone. "Harry. I love your accent and your dedication" i said putting on a smile and he smirked before looking up at me. "Now, you go." i said and he was about to speak before Uma cut in "What did you guys do to Marilyn she was never perky?"

"Oh, I wasn't talking to you it wasn't really your turn, so hush your mouth octopus spawn." i said looking Uma up and down. "Okay. Marilyn, come here." Carlos said pulling towards him "Yeah."

"I love you." he said grabbing my hand and smiling at me. "I love you." i replied smiling back at him. "I love this energy, and i also love how you're helping E but we are very short on time. Audrey clearly knows that we're here and we need to get out of here, ASAP." Carlos said and i nodded. "All right, where does this cheerleader bunk down?" Harry said squeezing in between Carlos and I.

"Even if she's not there, we might find some sort of clue." Uma said "Actually, isn't she in the dorms." i asked looking back at everyone said they nodded "You're right because of summer school." Mal said smiling "What? Summer school? Summer school! No wonder she wants revenge." Harry said laughing "Just because you flaunt multiply times and school on the isle isn't concerned real school doesn't mean you can talk about summer school buttercup" i said winking and blowing him a kiss.

"Okay. I need you guys to go find Ben. We will meet back at Evie's in two hours, okay?" I said and everyone nodded. "Sounds like we're going with my plan. I'm just saying." Uma said looking at Gil and Harry and i rolled my eyes "It was kind of the obvious plan." i replied

"Uma said it first." Gil said mockingly i sighed "Gil would you like some grapes" i said waving my hand over the other one hand and grapes appeared "Thank you" he said as i handed him the grapes

"Now let's go" i said walking out the door and towards Audrey's room.

"She's nowhere on campus." Mal said as we walked into the Audrey room that i may have open with a spell or kicked in. "Found her diary and dang, did you guys ruin Audrey's life." Uma said laying on Audrey's bed, plopping on the bed next to Uma i grabbed the book. 

"Wow Mal you did worst damage than i did" i said going through her diary

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"Wow Mal you did worst damage than i did" i said going through her diary. "Judging by the pages you didn't see, she actually falls in love with you, did you and Audrey use to be best friends" Uma said grabbing the book back and turning it to a page before handing it back to me.

"When we were younger" I said as i started to read the pages.

"I sat next to my best friend on her queen-sized, bed, surrounded by a mass of pillows doing what best friends do best: heart to hearts. Her words stuck. My best girl friend, my only girl friend she who in the course of our three-year friendship I realized I was in love with.

We laid out the details like a deck of cards. What had gone wrong. Mistakes made on both sides. The scars it had left. What I learned from it. How I was planning to let go and move on but i saw her every day so it was hard to.

I had done the unthinkable. I had written an emotional note to her ending the friendship. To top it off, I sent a text. A text saying I couldn't be friends anymore. The emotional, disgruntled note came later when I felt the need to explain my text. (A note, might I add, that was written while I was slightly half-sleep.)

Rewind a few years when I realized that I had feelings for my best guy friend. After three years of a great friendship — of long talks, of making fun of each other, of seeing each other at our worst, of challenging each other to grow, of rooting for each other, of me calling her to come to save me — I realized I was in love, and it scared the crap out of me.

What scared me was that I knew. I knew how I felt. I knew what she meant to me. I knew if I had to choose, I'd always pick her. It was that feeling that older, more mature couples talk about, "When you know, you know."

Pause. Yes, you read that correctly. It took me three years to realize I was in love with someone. So yes, a really long time. I sat on my newfound knowledge of my feelings for a month, hoping I could will them away. I didn't want to be in love with my best girl friend because I was afraid of losing her, but even more so, I was afraid of being rejected.

It took me three years to realize I was in love with someone.

Fast forward to the present day: the love that I expressed to my best girl friend turned out to be unrequited. She told me while she had felt the same way before, she didn't think we were a good fit. It was my biggest fear coming true in real-time. Falling in love with someone only for it not to be reciprocated. I felt embarrassed; I felt confused; I felt exposed; I felt stupid; I was hurt.

We tried going back to being close friends like we had always been, but it didn't happen that way. The long talks stopped. The witty texts stopped filling my inbox. My heart wasn't ready. I thought I could be her friend again, but my heart was still hurting. So when I got back, I sent her a text and said I couldn't handle being her friend right now. She sent me a thumbs-up emoji. We haven't spoken of that day since.

Guess, what? I'm still here. Being honest about my emotions and being vulnerable didn't destroy me. It didn't kill me. While awfully uncomfortable, I am still here. To be honest, it was relieving to just be honest. It was like releasing pressure from a balloon. Once it was pierced, it all just came out. I know Marilyn will never feel the same way that i feel for her, i had to move on. 

As i finished reading i looked up and at everyone "I knew she had a thing for you" i heard a voice said and i sat up fast it was Andy. "Andy!! i thought you were turned into stone" i said running to him and hugging him. "Not even put under a sleep spell just straight to stone" he said as we finally let go. "No you talk too much she would've definitely turned you into stone." i said and Andy laughed putting his arm around me and leading me out the door "why are they here?" he whispered. 

"To help, long story short Uma won't give back Hade's ember and we need it to break the spell" i said waving my hand over his forehead and what happened in the past hour or show was showed to him in my point of view.

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