billie || billie eilish

8

Landon Orion 

Shay waved at me and I stared. I couldn't decided whether I wanted to talk after what happened with Billie. 

"I see," he said, holding his calloused hands to the fire. They're have been in his pockets the entire time, but it was a habit. "You're not enjoying the party—are you?" 

"There's too much cloudcover," I said. "I thought the point of the party was to stargaze."

Shay smiled. A small smirk that hardly raised the edges of his pouty mouth. His dimples deepened. "Yes. But, mostly getting drunk and messed up." 

I tried hiding my smile in my palm, but he noticed and then we were both smiling at each other. The sort of goof-ball smile that made you feel silly for trying to conceal it. 

"I'm Landon," I told him. My voice was sort of croaky, but he heard me above the ruckus of the party. 

"How do you now Billie?" he asked. 

"School project," I told him. "I'm not really her friend or anything."

Shay stared into the withering flames of the bonfire, elbows on his knees, grey eyes turned silver beneath the pallid moonlight. "You could have fooled me." 

"What do you mean?" 

"The way the two of you look at each other. You seem kind of close—I must be mistaken." 

The way the two of you look at each other? There was no way we looked at each other. "I don't know hat you're talking about."

Shay nodded. "I didn't mean to offend you..." 

The party had calmed, kids leaving. The forest floor muddy and littered with paper cups.

I rose to my feet, wiping my hands on my frayed jeans. "I should go looking for Billie." 

"See you when I see you." Shay leaned into the heat of the bonfire, sharp face moody shadows against the dying embers. 

In the tree house, Billie was stuffing empty bottles into a black bag. Her face turned away from me. I stood by the door, rubbing the back of my neck. "I wanted to say goodnight. Thanks for inviting me to your party—I guess."

She hadn't said anything in a while.

"I'll see you on Monday," she said, her voice strained. 

"A-are you okay?" I asked. "I can help you clean up." 

"I'm doing just great," she insisted, shoving an empty bottle of Sky vodka into the back bag. "Don't worry about me. Besides, it's getting late, you should get home." 

On my way home, I thought too much about Billie's moonlight party and the boy and and the way she acted. 

I tucked my raw hands into my jean pockets. The why she held my ice cold hands by the bonfire—what was that about?

Dad's in the kitchen, dressed in his pajamas. "There's tea on the stove," he told me. 

I washed my hands in the bathroom sink and then poured myself a cup of Rooibos tea, taking it into my room. 

I sat on my bed, staring vacantly into my teacup. My troubled face, black eyes brooding and flower mouth contorted, rippling in the darkness of my tea. 

Keeping my head down was easy when I wasn't forced to spend time with Billie. She only complicated things for me. 

"The way the two of you look at each other," Shay had said—as if that was supposed to mean anything. I didn't intend on getting involved with anyone.